Wednesday, February 29, 2012

...makes us stronger.

We made it to the other side.

Saturday morning we woke up to plans for a family day of projects, walks, and a swim at the YMCA pool.  But as I picked Lucy up after her morning nap {yes I said NAP, that's for another post}, I realized our plans were changing.

She was hot.  I knew she had a fever.

It ended up being pretty low, around 101.  So we got down on the floor for some play time.  Minutes later she crawled over to me and pulled her self up on my chest and laid down and slept for another hour or so.

The next 48 hours looked like that.  If she wasn't asleep on me or Steven, she was laying on us just watching what the other one of us was doing.  At one point her temp reached 103.8.  Scary, yes.  But she was eating and drinking well, her diapers were the same, and she had no other symptoms.

Then as soon as her fever disappeared on Monday, a rash appeared on her chest, back, and neck.  Didn't seem to bother her at all, but not pretty to look at.

That pretty much confirmed that she had just pushed through the viral infection Roseola.  Apparently one of the most common childhood viruses.

Looking behind us, it really doesn't seem like that big of a deal.  We kept her hydrated, she rested and got extra sleep, her body did what it needed to do.  We let the fever run its course.

It was a test.  A BIG test.  For me at least.  Steven and I believe our bodies are capable of a lot more then they're given credit for.  We try to intercede as little as possible.  We believe fevers can be good.  We believe letting the body fight on its own, is good.

That's very easy to say when you have a healthy household!  But remember that when your baby girl is sick?

Is there ANYTHING worse then having a sick baby??

I wanted so badly to absorb every ounce of discomfort, every degree of fever, every stubborn viral germ.  I would have taken it all, times ten!  I scoured every source of information and advice, second guessing everything, and then second guessing why I was second guessing what I knew to be true.  I was frustrated that Lucy couldn't tell me exactly how she felt, and that there were times that nothing I did seemed to soothe her.  It was difficult.

In her first year of life, this was only the second time Lucy had been sick.  Both times have been common childhood viruses that just have to run their course.  How frustrating is that??  To know there is nothing you can do to speed it up or take it away.

Through all this of course, is my husband.  Calm, upbeat, positive. 

She's going to be fine.  

Her body is taking care of this.

We believe in this process.

I needed that affirmation constantly!  He also reminded me that in the same way this is our first experience with this illness, and yes it's frustrating and confusing, this is Lucy's first time with this illness and she's even more frustrated and confused!  And we set the stage.  Am I feeding her vibes of calming, secure, peace, and strength?  Or panic and worry?

This was such a learning experience for me.  Yes, I believe that God is the ultimate healer.  I believe He designed the body impeccably.  I believe He also gave us wisdom.  And in this case, that wisdom said to stay calm, keep that baby close, and let her body fight and heal.  And that's what we did.

I'm proud of Lucy and I'm proud of Ma and Pa :)

But more than anything, I'm thankful for health and learning.  I pray that next time I can stay on top of my worry and anxiety. I know she's only building her immune system and becoming stronger.  And now we can mark two viruses off of the list of things she won't go through again.

But I don't think I'll ever be able to keep from asking, Can I please take it all for her?

Here's to feeling better!

Saturday, February 25, 2012


So I meant to post these photos on my photography blog. But realized a little too late that I was here, on my personal blog!

It's just as well though, because these aren't just pictures of a baby.

This is Gabel Argo.  The son of some of our closest friends, Keith and Kristin.

The Hebrew meaning of Gabel is strength of God.

A parent's prayer breathed right into his name.

From his surprise conception to the extended wait for his arrival, he's already been a teacher of faith and patience and a reminder of God's plan and purpose.

This 'little' man came into the world at a whopping 10 pounds and 6 ounces.  With big hands, broad shoulders, and a warm soul.

The pictures taken were during some good visits.  Which are my favorite kind of pictures.  No poses, no props.  Just moments in a day.  Moments that pass as quickly as they arrive, during days that are confusing yet cherished.  I'm always honored to photograph life, as is.

Gabel is a loved, loved little boy.  

One Week

One Month  

Friday, February 24, 2012


I saw this the other day.

"If you want to know who your kids will be like when they grow up, go and stand in front of a mirror for 20 seconds..."
 I think I realized this innately.  It would explain why since the second Lucy was born, I have spent most of my time at the feet of my Lord, begging Him to mold me, shape me, refine me.  To create in me a clean heart.  To get rid of the ugly, the negative, the insecure, the jealous.  To fill every part of me up with HIM.  To speak to me, guide me, use me.  To polish up the best parts of me, and help me learn from the worst.

No matter what I tell my little girl, it's what I show her that matters most.  It's what I live.  So if I want to raise a fearless, loving, compassionate, Christ-centered, wise woman...I have to be one.

At first I was overwhelmed with how intimidating that thought was.  Then, like a weight lifted, I realized how FREEING it actually is.  Because HE can't fail.  So when I do, and I will, Lucy will get to see God's mercy, grace, and strength.  It's about living my life, mothering my children, being a wife to my husband, while holding God's hand.  It's not about perfection.

That's what I want Lucy to see.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Maeve comes to visit...

One of the loves of my life came to visit last weekend.

This little girl.

My niece Maeve.

I'm so excited that she's at the age to come stay the weekend with Aunt Linz.

In Maeve terms, she was getting to stay for TWO sleeps!

My niece is just plain awesome. She is hilarious and smart. She is full of energy and love.

Lucy literally cracked up all weekend. The two adore each other.

I'm already planning the next visit, and the next, and the next, and the get the picture :)

I feel immensely blessed to be a part of this little girl's life.

Here's our weekend of baking cookies, making chocolate chips pancakes (more chocolate than pancake), playing outside, collecting pretty things, crashing during All Dogs Go To Heaven, making an almond flour fruit tart, and waking up to those I love.

I'm ready for some nephew time now :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

To My Valentine...


Happy Valentine's Day my love!

I know I tell you every night. I know I tell you every morning. I know I tell you a handful of times throughout the day.

I love you. I really love you.

I love you because you love me, even when I make it hard to.

I love you because you see what I'm capable of achieving, even when I don't.

I love you because you let me dream.

I love you because you're teaching me how to DO, to get those dreams.

I love you because you still want to get to know me better.

I love you because you give me reason when I just want to be emotional.

I love you because you tidy up my craft room, even though I had it exactly how I wanted it.

I love you for trying to make me laugh when I am clearly trying to be mad at you.

I love you for teaching me that it makes no sense to stay mad.

I love you for letting me pick all the paint colors.

I love you for a million and one different things.

I love you. I really love you.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. ~T. Merton

I love you for being my opposite.  The sun to my moon.  I love you for being you.

I knew from the beginning that I didn't deserve you. And that thought still crosses my mind at least once a day.

You are a daily reminder of God's grace, love, and faithfulness to me. He brought me to you. And you listened to Him and pursued me. I'm not sure if I've ever said thank you for that.

I promise you Steven that I will always put God first, so that I can be the wife He wants me to be for you.  The wife I couldn't be on my own.

And we're parents now.  PARENTS!  But I was your wife first.  And I promise to try and never forget that.  I need you.

I am so happy you picked me to build a nest with.

I will never ever ever doubt for even a second that God brought us together.

I mean seriously babe!

Look what we made :)