This last month was pretty intense.
But yet, like most things of worth, where there were challenges and obstacles and even sorrow, there was also joy and peace and contentment. And gratitude. Always gratitude.
You went on your first big family vacation. It was full and good. You saw and heard and touched (and ate) the sand and salt water from your first beach experience. You were loved and held by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
You experienced your first big virus. Several days of a high fever, including another febrile seizure. It will never get easier on my heart. It is unlike anything I have experienced in my short years of mothering. I am very aware of how little control I actually possess in this journey. But nothing drives that home more then holding your convulsing body in my arms for what seems like eternity, with nothing in my power to stop it. I could easily live in fear, obsessively trying to prevent your exposure to the next germ, virus, bug. But alas, getting sick is part of living. And so is healing.
And you are healthy. You are thriving and growing. You have mastered new ways of getting around, but haven't quite started crawling. You have your two bottom front teeth in, but still have no interest in eating food. And you my dear, most certainly are sure of your own voice. You are loud! But in the most entertaining and joyful way. Even when you choose to express yourself with the occasional midnight party.
You spend the majority of your day on my hip. There are moments when my arms are burning and my body feels lopsided and uneven. But then there are times where you feel like such a fluid extension of me and I'm thankful for my body and the way it was made with a spot for you in mind, long before you were here to rest in it.
We brought in your 8 month with your first camping trip with some friends. For three days it rained a good portion of the time and our tents leaked and most everything we brought was wet.
And it was wonderful.
You spent the days content on a blanket reaching for rocks, dirt, sticks and anything else you could grab, or wandering around strapped to me, or napping on your papa around the fire or under a tent.
You slept deep and restful during the nights.
It was such a good reminder of what I want our family to remember...
Sometimes your plans change and sometimes you're not prepared for those changes and you have to just roll with it. Things are better when you are with people who love you and whom you love as well. Exploring and resting are both good for the soul. There is beauty in the rain and in the sunshine. And attitude truly is everything.
We drove home with my heart full. I was so proud of our little tribe.
I'm thankful for a Creator who says I can cast my worries onto Him. Who tells me to be anxious of nothing. Who wants me to be filled with His perfect love, not fear, to be content in the midst of it all.
Ida, I say 'yes' to that.
It is my prayer that you see me say 'yes' to that over and over and over again.
'Yes' to Him.
My darling, delightful baby, you are such a gift. I love you with all my heart.
Love,
Mama
