The McDowell Way

11 months

2012-02-11T06:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Lucy,

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. Sweet baby, you're eleven months old today.

And girl, you are funny. I mean seriously funny. And you know it too. You are constantly cracking yourself up, which in turn cracks me and your dad up.

And this new smile that you have! It's more then a smile. If joy was a face, this would be it. Your big, blue eyes squeeze shut as tight as they'll go, your nose crinkles up like a little squirrel, the corners of your mouth stretch all the way to your ears, (making sure we can see all of the 6 teeth that you're so proud of!), and then all of that is accompanied with a funny gremlin-like hiss as you push a combination of air and spit through the spaces around your front teeth. We do our best to entice this look from you. To be funny, entertaining parents. But more often then not, you'll be on the floor entertaining yourself, flashing your joy face up to the heavens. I just love that. Wondering what's going on in that little head of yours, but knowing that whatever it is, it's already bringing you joy.

You are still eating like a champ. You have yet to turn your nose up to anything we've introduced. And I have loved preparing food for you. I still don't enjoy cooking the way your dad does, nor am I as good at it! But I have thoroughly enjoyed chopping and steaming and pureeing fresh food for you. And we are excited that you'll soon have a much more active role in the food process. Helping us in the garden, picking the vegetables yourself, seeing them prepared, and hopefully continuing to gobble them up! It's my prayer that even starting this young, your dad and I can model healthy examples of eating right so that you will have a healthy relationship with food and enjoy all the goodness and flavor that comes straight out of the ground.

You continue to gain confidence in your balance. Your favorite place to practice? The bath tub. Yes, the wet, slippery, hard tub is your favorite place to stand hands-free. And you find it hilarious. Except for when you plop back down and land on a bath toy.

We like to practice holding your hands and letting you walk out in front of us. Well I say walk, but you're clearly trying to run. And of course, it's with the biggest grin on your face. Like you can already see it. You can see yourself taking off through the back door, running through the yard with your furry sisters. That's why you're grinning, isn't it?

Count down is on girlie! Party is being planned while my brain continues to try and figure out how it is that you are about to be one.

Thank you for your joy Lucy Pearl.

Love,
Mama

A Masterpiece

2012-01-31T18:40:00.000-08:00

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

This is definitely a tape-to-the-mirror worthy verse.

Whenever I decide to take a leap into something, my first instinct is to list all the reasons why I will fail, why there are countless others who are more worthy/talented/equipped, and how it's ridiculous that I'm about to attempt this. But it's a first instinct that I've been chipping away at for years. It's not a productive attitude and quite frankly, not an attractive quality.

And if I believe what I say I believe, then that way of thinking is pretty hypocritical.

If I look back at my greatest accomplishments, they all started with a little voice that put a desire or an idea into my heart and then once I would start in that direction, fear and doubt would consume me. I would be frozen for a moment. Afraid to open my eyes, afraid to move, wondering what in the world had I done.

Then would come the deep breath and the surrender to God. I hate that it was always my last resort. That I would wait until I had absolute no strength and courage to move forward before just resting in God. I'm still working on skipping straight to the surrender part when I'm faced with new challenges and opportunities.

The thing about the surrendering, is that all of those scary, challenging moments, became some of the most incredible, life-changing experiences of my life. So it really does make since for me to just skip over the fear and self-deprecating thoughts.

I would think that if there was ever a time I'd have to battle those old ways of thinking, it would be with the birth of Lucy. I mean, entrusted to raise another human being?? Crazy!

But I've jumped straight to surrendering. I don't even waste time on fear and doubt. I know that I am so ill-equipped on my own, I have had to cling to God since the day she was born. My strength and my ability to raise Lucy, has to come from Him.

I wake up asking God to hold my hand. I go to bed asking God to wrap His arms around Lucy.

And that's my plan.

So back to that verse.

It's not difficult to look at my little girl and believe in every fiber of my being that she is God's masterpiece. I'm in awe of her daily. God has so much in store for her my heart sings! So it would break my heart if she grew up not fully believing the words of that verse.

The truth is, the best way for me to make that happen is to believe it about myself.

Hence, taping the verse on the mirror.

I'm so thankful HE planned on me being Lucy's mother.

But back to my favorite masterpiece.

Music Class

2012-01-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

You loved it.

So many new babies to smile at. Many an example of what's in store for you in the next few months as your balance improves and you step away from assistance.

Swaying and rocking and clapping.

Banging drums, swirling scarfs, and reaching for bubbles.

New songs, new sounds, and new movements.

You listened, you danced, and you explored.

I am so proud of you.

Yes, you loved it. You will settle in to this quite nicely.

We'll see you next week!

I am linking up with Just Write today. Stop by to read other posts or to add your own.

The White Flag

2012-01-20T18:35:00.000-08:00

The White Flag has been waved.

I surrender.

The Nap War is over.

For one month, actually a little over one month, I have followed every method and system out there to teach Lucy to nap in her crib. I read every book, scoured the internet, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed. And for a month I have listened to my baby cry in her crib for her hour ‘nap’ in the morning and her ‘hour’ nap in the afternoon. And yes, I followed every rule. I was methodical and consistent with the routine. She wasn’t budging. The best we could hope for was 10-15 minutes of her slumped over, face smooshed against the bars of her crib “resting.”

I started praying that God would help me with patience and perseverance through this or either give me the wisdom to know when to stop and try something else. But there was my dilemma. Each morning I would think, today is going to be the day! She’s going to get it! And then she wouldn’t. So I would wonder, is this the teaching of patience and perseverance and I push through another day? Or is this the flashing neon sign of wisdom shouting, THIS IS NOT WORKING.

Maybe I’ll wait one more day, tomorrow she’ll get it.

Then today, halfway through the morning tears, something inside me gave. Like a carefully stacked Jenga tower, the one piece was removed and it all came crashing down. I was done. I started asking myself why I had even done this. It was ridiculous. I had turned naptime into a war. Why? In the name of needing time to be productive? How productive is it for me to spend those two hours huddled in a corner of the house curled up in the fetal position with my hands over my ears going, lalalalalalalalalala? And then spending most of the day with Lucy glued to my side because my happy adventurous girl is so tired that she just wants to be held. No, no more. Starting tomorrow I will spend the next few days helping Lucy catch up on all of her day time sleep.

A book, a cup of tea, and a napping baby in my arms? That is productive.

Just by having this revelation, I already feel lighter and the anxiety has lessened its grip on me. Is holding her for her naps the best thing to do? I have no idea. But it's the decision I'm making for my little girl. To make sure she continues to grow and explore her world, alert and well-rested, without puffy dark circles under her eyes.

For this fleeting time, I will hold her. It's why I became a mother. It's moments like this I'm thankful I didn't go back to work. So that while she goes through a phase where she can't nap on her own, I'm here to hold her.

There is a silver lining to all of this. A week into the nap training, we decided to transition Lucy from our bed to her crib at night as well. We weren’t sure if we were ready (notice I said we weren’t ready.) But we thought it would be less confusing to her if all of her sleeping was now done in her crib. After a few nights, she took to it beautifully! She’s getting a full 12 hour night sleep without waking to nurse or anything. The irony, it didn’t help her adjust to napping in her crib at all. The girl has never confused her nights with days. She has always loved a good night's sleep.

This also opened my eyes to how little of a daily schedule I had with Lucy. I am well aware of the benefits of having a structured daily routine and I enjoy having one. It just doesn’t happen naturally for me. So this has allowed me to create one for Lucy and I think we’re all benefitting from it. I am thankful for the strides made this last month. But Lucy needs me to help her nap right now.

Even my cup of tea today affirmed my new nap time philosophy.

Do you see what it says?

Wisdom becomes knowledge when it is personal experience.

Pretty profound.

You can have your theories, read all the books and follow all the advice on how to do something right. But seeing how it applies to you, your situation, and your child, is a whole other story.

So I will tuck away everything I've learned from this experience with Lucy. I'm sure a lot of it will come in handy with future babies, and a lot of it won't.

Someone asked me, "What will you do if your next baby is the same way, but you'll also have a toddler to take care of?"

Well, I have no idea. I guess I'll have to cross that bridge when I get to it. But I do have faith that God will provide the rest needed to all of His children, however it comes.

And right now, for Lucy Pearl, that provision is a rocking chair and her Mama's arms.

On Diapers...

2012-01-17T18:31:00.000-08:00

This might seem like a strange post, but every time I pull these bad boys out of the wash, I think..."I should take a picture!"

It cracks me up that just by being pretty, it's made cloth diapering dare I say...fun?! But it's true. I love my baby's diapers. And they're just so pretty.

While I was pregnant I thought, "It'd be so cool to use cloth diapers."

Then I thought, "So why don't we?"

But then we became a little overwhelmed with diaper information and trying to decide what kind we would go with and if we could really do it.

After some personal recommendations from some friends, we went with fuzzibunz. I love them.

I would like to say that our decision to cloth diaper was strictly for environmental reasons and that we sleep better at night knowing that we have drastically cut back on the amount of diaper trash that leaves our household. Which that is partly true.

But if you ask Steven, it was a little bit more like, I want to stay home with my baby and if we're going to learn to live on one pay check then we need to figure out ways to cut costs even with a new baby coming into the house.

We spent a few hundred dollars building up our supply of 15 diapers that will grow with her until she is potty trained. That's a LOT of disposal diapers that we won't have to buy over the next couple of years.

Yay for a happy planet and a happy wallet.

So if you're wondering if you can do cloth diapers, you can. Go for it.

My advice is, what you do simply becomes what you do.

And what we do is a basket full of colorful diapers.

A Winter Day

2012-01-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things about Lucy is her resilience to the elements. Cold, wet, hot, dirty, muddy, sandy, rocky; the girl is not phased. Nor does it slow her down. She loves to be outside. Some days may take a little creativity, but I feel it is my duty to get her out there. And I'm not just talking about being in nature, Lucy has to be in contact with nature. Lucky for us, we received some great hand-me-down outdoor clothes from my sister! So here's to the many bundle up days ahead of us...

10 Months

2012-01-11T04:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Lucy,

You are 10 months old sweet girl. And what a month it’s been. Although I think I say that every time.

Somehow in the midst of all the travel, family, and excitement of Christmas, you managed to grow like a weed and start looking more like a little girl than a baby.

You have a distinct neck and only 1 chin. Instead of 7 rolls down your arms, there’s only 1. Your outer thighs can no longer pass for a shelf and your bubble butt is not quite as bubbly. You are long and lean my friend. Pants that were too long for you but too tight in the waist, are now the perfect length with plenty of room around your tummy. You’ve been busy using your new sleek body to practice standing without assistance. You’re up to 5 seconds with no hands. And you have the bruises to prove it.

You’re now up to 6 teeth. They didn’t quite make it in time for Christmas, but you finally have your two front teeth. Although I was growing pretty fond of your little fangs.

And speaking of teeth, you are eating like a champ. I’m talking three meals a day, anything I put in front of you. Which may seem like a no-brainer for a 10 month old, but you took your time becoming interested in solid foods. I think you’re making up for lost time though. Every time I watch you clean your bowl, I feel like throwing a party.

Another huge feat this month (as mentioned last week)…you are sleeping in your own bed, in your own room. Two nights ago was night 7. I laid you down, and before I made it down the hall you were asleep! I was so excited and happy for you, that I wanted to run in and wake you up so that I could kiss and love on you and tell you how amazing and wonderful you are. You are however, my little fighter, still refusing to nap.

Lucy, I'm calling your 10th month, the month of P's. Patience, Perseverance, Prayer and Pride. I have a feeling, this is parenthood. I welcome it. You make me such a better person. I look forward to growing with you Lucy Pearl. It's an honor to teach you things and a blessing to be taught by you.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Love,
Mama

This sucks...

2012-01-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Lucy,

You'll be 10 months old in a week, but I couldn't wait that long to tell you about this...

Let me start by saying that your dad and I talked about co-sleeping while I was pregnant and liked the idea and thought it made sense. Then once you got here, we couldn't imagine doing anything else. You were our little bear cub and belonged snuggled in between us. And it was perfect for our family. In a month, you were already sleeping through the night. And the next 6 or 7 months was actually the most rested I had felt in a long time.

But over the last month or two, a restlessness started to grow. You began waking a couple of times a night and either wanted to nurse yourself back to sleep or pull yourself on top of me or your dad. And I stopped being able to fall back asleep and would commonly stay awake from 2, 3, or 4 am on.

A shift was happening and we needed to adjust.

But I was terrified. On one hand, I didn't want you to leave our bed. But I knew that wasn't going to equip you for anything. And secondly, the memory of trying to 'nap train' you a couple of weeks ago is still fresh. TWO hours of you standing in your crib, first crying, then fussing, and then what I was pretty sure was you cussing at me. So I couldn't even imagine how long you would fight with a 12 hour stretch in front of you.

But ready or not, here we go.

I had done my research and chose to use a more 'gentle' gradual approach. So the first night we both slept on an air mattress in your nursery. No problem, you can handle that. The next night, I stay on the air mattress with you in the crib. It was do or die.

Before I even released you, the tears began. And so did mine. I laid down on the mattress fighting back tears, trying to make sure my face looked peaceful and serene for you. Everything in me wanted to crawl into that crib and breathe in your scent and curl you into me so that you could drift to sleep. Who cares if you sleep in my arms for your entire childhood?! Then I realized that was neither rational nor beneficial for either of us.

Then I tried to remember, crying is communication. I get really frustrated when I'm tired but can't fall asleep. So that's probably what you're trying to tell me too. But that only holds me together for a brief moment.

Then I revert back to full force prayer. I pray for strength, patience, and wisdom. And I pray for you Lucy, to be wrapped in God's peace and comfort, and rest. And Psalm 23 starts playing through my mind over, and over, and over again.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.

Here's the short story:

On your first night in your crib, after almost 10 months of napping and bedtime in my arms or by my side, you only cried for 45 minutes. And then my stubborn little angel, you slept on and off sitting up with your head resting on the crib bars for 2 1/2 hours. A couple of times I even caught you just staring at me, no tears. Then you finally decided to allow yourself to lie down, and it was off to dreamland.

I couldn't believe it was done. And then a little sadness crept in with the thought and realization that gone are the infant days of laying down with you as you nuzzle into me to nurse and I watch your eyes start to roll back and your eye lids flutter until you are drunk on milk and sleep. Poof. Just like that we've moved past it.

Oh but soon after, immense pride and joy swells inside of me. Look at you! Big girl learning how to sleep on her own, in her own bed.

Night Two.

Not so well. It was as if my presence was just setting you off. The crying was more intense and went from 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours. I was a wreck! But your dad and I were realizing that you didn't always respond well to our presence. You didn't take comfort in it, it just frustrated you that you could see me but not get to me. So I left. And went straight down the hall into your dad's arms and cried until you finished crying. And he let me be emotional and completely irrational. And then like that, you were done. Nothing coming from your room but your little breaths and Jewel's lullaby CD.

Lucy, here you are learning how to sleep. But I can't help but feel like I might have learned the bigger lesson. I wanted to hold you and sleep next to you forever. I could handle some of the inconveniences to prevent tears and sobs. But I was watching you become more and more completely reliant on me or your dad to put you to sleep and help you stay asleep and that is a disservice to you.

One of the most basic and fundamental skills I can teach you is how to fall asleep. That's the journey we are on now. But with all my worry, and reading, and preparation, you turned around and taught me that sometimes I might just have to get out of your way and let you do it, my smart little girl.

So to mark such a big occasion, we went out and bought you...your first bow.

I will always be here for you Lucy.

Love,
Mama

My dear 2011

2012-01-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

Last night was definitely on the mellow side of a New Year celebration. With Lucy asleep, Steven and I just sat on the couch listening to music and talking. A few minutes before midnight we turned on the TV to watch the ball drop. As they counted down and said goodbye to 2011, I turned to Steven and realized my eyes were full of tears.

"Are you crying?" he laughed.

And out of nowhere, I was.

2011 was a life changing year. We had a baby. Our first baby. A tangible piece of love entered our home.

Our life was changed forever in 2011.So in those first minutes of 2012, it was a little bittersweet. Like saying goodbye to a dear, dear friend.

I will cling to the memories and will forever be thankful that I chose to savor every second of 2011. But I am fully aware that 2012 will blow me out of the water.

And just to prove it, my little family went out and had the best January 1st of my life.

Standing Tall

2011-12-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or does this not look like my little baby girl who was just born over 9 months ago?

She just started crawling before Thanksgiving and already prefers to be upright and can side step around the table.

This is her favorite place to stand. I could probably snap a picture of her in this exact same position every day.

Slow down my love...

9 Months

2011-12-11T05:23:00.001-08:00

Dear Lucy,

You are 9 months old. You’ve been in this world as long as you were in my tummy. That’s kind of crazy to think about.

A lot has happened this month. You are ALL over the place. You crawl like a race car driver. You love leaving me in the dust but stopping just long enough to turn and smile at me with such pride and joy in your face at your new found mobility. And you pull up on everything. You still prefer standing on your tip toes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything cuter than your dainty but chubby toes holding up your chunky, rolling legs. You are such a curious little cherub.

You are also, dare I say, a little dramatic at times. When you cough it’s like watching a full on theatrical performance, complete with a little smirk at the end waiting for applause. Or when you’re really tired or hungry, you start your crawl towards me but stop half way and collapse flat on the floor and fold your face into your arms whimpering because you are now too weak and just…can’t…make it.

You were also sick for the first time. And though looking back it really was very, very minimal, it was still the worst week of your nine months. Not because of you, but because of the helplessness I felt. I wanted to absorb every ounce of pain and discomfort from you, but I couldn’t. It was a glimpse of what I know there will be more of. But it was also a reminder to be thankful every day for your health. You are such a healthy, happy baby and I will never take that for granted.

There is something else special about this month. It’s Christmas!! You have already been a part of some pretty amazing festivities, and there are more to come. And as excited as I am about this, your first Christmas, I realized something. You are my Christmas all year long. Yes, you are my most favorite gift. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Christmas is a time when ordinary, regular, every day things, become extraordinary and magical. A tree is no longer a tree, but it twinkles and sparkles. Houses light up and look straight out of story books. Even a sweet, simple carol becomes more than a song; they are recognized and sung by people all over the world. Even more remarkable? A baby was born in a barn, and changed the world forever.

So you see, you are my extraordinary. YOU make my ordinary day extraordinary. I love more deeply and I celebrate with more joy. My special girl, you are full of magic and light.

You are Christmas every day.

Merry Christmas Lucy Pearl.

Love, Mama

Thankful

2011-11-27T16:13:00.001-08:00

I've never been more thankful for anything in my life.

I love you Lucy Pearl.

When you love somebody...

2011-11-17T03:10:00.001-08:00

Tis the month of Thanksgiving. Although my heart wakes up full of thanks every morning. To me there are really two different kinds of thankfulness. There's the obvious. Our loved ones, our health, our things. And then there's what I consider a thankful heart. It's more of an attitude. It's there all the time, but yet can surge at surprising moments. A sunrise, a smile, a cup of coffee. The best part about this kind of thankfulness is that it can be taught, improved, trained. I was raised around this kind of attitude and I pray I radiate the same spirit around my child and my husband, a spirit of gratefulness.

But since we are leading up to Thanksgiving Day, I want to talk about one of my most favorite blessings to count. Loved ones. My family, near and far. Which if you know me then you know how intricately they are a part of me. My friends. Friends I see weekly and friends I see sporadically. Good friends in my new town and dear friends in my hometown. Loved ones across the country and loved ones on the other side of the world right now. I thank God for these people every day. I pray for their safety and protection and happiness. Because of them I'm surrounded by love and support and prayer. I have people who lift me up and people who are patient and forgive. They are people who are happy when I am happy and who remind me to be happy when I forget that I am. I am so thankful for the people God selects to put in my life.

Last month my family all got together for a long weekend. It was one of those times where I wish I could just bottle it up. I'd love to take my family, my friends, and a cabin in the woods by a river and just roll it up and squeeze them in my arms forever.

So in the words of my favorite toast, here's to family I consider friends and friends I consider family...

8 Months

2011-11-11T08:25:00.001-08:00

Little Bit, you are 8 months today. Amazing. You are amazing. You continue to amaze me every day. Absolutely amazing.Just last night your dad felt your third tooth. We thought your other bottom teeth were coming in next. We never saw or felt anything up top and then BAM. It was your top left tooth that just broke through. Luckily your three teeth have not harmed our nursing relationship :) You make us laugh constantly and it's clear that you have so much that you want to say.You still don't crawl forward, but you're already starting to pull up on things. Maybe you think crawling on your hands and knees is for the dogs? You are curious about everything and some how are able to reach things that are 3 arm lengths away without even moving.You do NOT like winter squash. It's repulsive and you are shocked we would even attempt to feed it to you. You would rather stick to carrots and bananas. That, and Mama's milk of course. And girl do you love your daddy. You take it very personal when he leaves the room or walks away from you. But I don't think he minds. You are most at peace during our weekly hikes. You never get tired of being outside. I found a digested leaf in your diaper the other day. Fiber.I'm about to jump out of my skin I'm so excited about introducing you to the holidays.You are my heart.

Love,
Mama

We'll be in the woods...

2011-11-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this season? I find myself walking around with the hymn "For the Beauty of the Earth" stuck in my head.Thank you Lord.

My time...

2011-10-31T08:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting here much, because I've been posting here...

www.lindseymcdowellphotography.wordpress.com

And that's a good thing. :)

Birthdays

2011-10-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

Something makes me think yesterday might have been his best birthday yet...

...and it wasn't because of my attempt at cooking a fancy dinner.

7 Months

2011-10-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Lucy,

Hey Pumpkin! There are officially more months behind you then there are till your first birthday. Quite frankly, I don't like that one bit. There is so much to look forward to, I know. But there is also so much perfection going on right now, I don't want anything to change.

You are so full of curiosity and life and smiles and snuggles.

You haven't quite figured out crawling (so close!), but you are definitely on the move.

You're getting the whole food swallowing down. Carrots are your favorite.

You say 'Mama'. So far only when you're distraught and tired. But it still melts my heart and I feel like the luckiest person in the entire universe. I'm your mama.

Your expressions have more power then words ever will.

You're strong. You're smart. You're funny.

You are so loved baby girl.

Love,
Mama

Cabin Fever...sort of

2011-10-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get major cabin fever. Not necessarily from four walls or from my lack of adult interaction, but from everything. By everything, I mean roads, buildings, cars, stuff...routine.

And if I don't see mountains, trees, and a trail (trail optional) soon, I may just burst.

Not the mountains and trees you can see from your back porch or on a nice drive, but the ones that swallow you up whole.

Never is the urge as strong as it is during the fall. The air, the smells, the colors. I imagine it's what an addiction feels like. I have to have it.

Lucy has been happy and content outside from day one. Even in midday 100 degree summer. So it has been my pleasure to introduce her to Fall and all it's glory. She's a fan.

We are lucky to have some great places to hike locally. That's what I love about hiking. There's a trail for every calling, the last minute afternoon trips, the longer weekend trips, and the big picture trips when we'll pack up and head out west. But of course there's the granddaddy of all trips, the one I dreamed of taking my kids on before kids were even a reality. Alaska. Backpacking in Alaska was so powerful and life changing, I knew it was a gift I wanted to share with my children. Not many places are left in the US that are considered pristine wilderness, untouched by man. I want my family to experience that.

Until then...we'll be playing outside.

Enjoy your weekend!!

An impromptu afternoon under a tree...

2011-09-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

Are there any such better days as these?

Sweet Potatoes

2011-09-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sure how this whole solid food thing is supposed to go. I guess I assumed that as "healthy" as she is, Lucy would gobble down anything I put in her mouth. We've been at it a week now and she's not really interested. Entertained? Most definitely. But 2 to 3 spoonfuls, a few grins and a look that says, "Mama, why the heck did you just feed me soured pickled jalapenos?" ...and she's good.

Then she usually nurses with enthusiasm as if she thought she may never see my boob again.

Slow and steady I suppose.

At least the sweet potatoes seem to bring out the blue in her eyes...

6 months ago...

2011-09-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Lucy, today you’re 6 months old. Half a year. I’ve stopped trying to come up with new adjectives to describe what you’re like and what you mean to me. Those words just do not exist. You are simply my most precious gift from God.

As big of a mile stone as today is, it’s also a day remembered for something else. Something that happened a decade ago. You will grow up learning about September 11, 2001. It will be in your school books.

I want to make sure there's something else you learn too.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

When the day comes that I can’t keep you from the hateful, ugly and dirty things in this world, I want you to remember that Love conquers all. From despair, can come hope. From fear, can come faith. From suffering, can come enlightenment, joy, and life. And after 50 hours of natural labor, that’s exactly what the Lord gave me with you.

And that’s what I want to remember today.

I started writing your birth story in the first few weeks we were home and I think today is a great day to share it…

Wednesday March 9th at 3:30am I woke up to a definite HELLO in my uterus. I got up, made note of the time, glanced at my sleeping husband and went back to bed. 4:00 a.m.…HELLO, 4:10…HELLO, 4:20…HELLO, 4:30…HELLO. You get the picture. I decided to wait and see if this kept up for an hour before I woke up Steven.

I woke up Steven at 5am to casually mention that contractions had started. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to really react. We decided to focus on our list of things to do before the baby got here. The list we assumed we had at least another week or two to complete. On that list was for Steven to finish re-tiling the fire place, a project he began just two days earlier. So he first went to the living room to clean up the tools and dust and plastic ground cover and slate tiles. Then he did a speed clean around the house. Did I mention this was the day of torrential down pours that lasted all morning? Steven then ran to Kroger to stock up on snacks and juice for me, only to come back drenched and to discover a flooded basement garage. He found the culprit. In the back corner of the garage was a full on raging waterfall. So out Steven went to dig around the foundation of the house and figure out where the clog was in the drainage. He found it. I wish I would have taken a picture. It was the largest root system we had ever seen, just living in a drain pipe. The waterfall was reduced to a trickle. Where am I through all this? Just contracting is all.

Luckily my contractions did space out and slow down some and after Steven dried off we were able to nap for about a half hour. But by Wednesday late afternoon, they were back to being 8 to 10 minutes apart and getting a little stronger. We were definitely already using the techniques we had learned in our natural birthing classes. We were however able to fit in a trip to the chiropractor and a car wash. I just kept walking in circles in the parking lot, breathing and trying to look normal while Steven vacuumed out the car as fast as he could.

Sometime in the middle of the night, they started coming every 6- 8 minutes. We still knew there was no immediate rush, but I was tapping in to that inner place. Around 2am Steven was able to sleep a couple of hours while I moved from the bath tub to the living room, back to the bath tub, to the kitchen, back to the bath tub, and to the living room. This is when I remember a sense of peace washing over me and I was really able to talk to my Lord. I prayed for Steven and his strength, I prayed for this baby getting ready to meet us and I prayed that God would lead me through this process, a process already testing my strength and my will. Kneeling with my head buried in the couch and Shelby, Callie, and Toccoa, lying on the floor around me, I start singing some of my favorite hymns and just continued asking God to be my strength and my comforter.

Morning finally came and contractions were every 4-6 minutes and intense. I could no longer be even a room away from Steven. As much as I wanted to be able to tell him to go lie down and rest, I couldn’t. I needed him more than I have ever needed anyone. It was pretty amazing how just someone’s presence and the sound of his voice and the touch of his hand, reminded me I could do this. With the rain finally gone, we were able to move my walking path through the house to outside. We were working hard.

Around 2:00 p.m. that Thursday afternoon, March 10th, I felt it was time to mosey on to the hospital. With adrenaline pumping and just the distraction of having to drive to the hospital and being around people, I could tell the contractions had slowed down. But after triage, I was still measuring 6 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Not too bad. Once in the room with just Steven and our Doula, Mandy, things began to pick back up again and the contractions were coming faster and stronger. We kept up our routine; birthing ball, walking, squatting, repeat. This is when a lot of stuff becomes a blur. I never really looked at the clock, thank goodness; I just worked from contraction to contraction. And as they became more intense, so did my reliance on Steven. I swear sometimes he seemed to know a contraction was coming before it actually did. I never had to look for him, or call for him, he was always right there, rubbing my back, holding me up. I was also becoming vocal. For the most part I stayed ahead of the contraction. The moment I felt one coming I would take a deep breath and with a low, deep, belly growl I would breathe through it. Every once in awhile loosing the race and gasping and squealing through the end of that wave. I had also chosen not to have any vaginal exams once I left triage. I didn’t want to be distracted by a number. I tried to just focus on the fact that each contraction was one contraction closer to meeting my baby. Time had vanished. I had no idea what time it was, nor did I want to. I did not want any form of “tracking” to enter my mind. This was my process; my body, my baby, my birth. I do remember a nurse saying that we would definitely be having a baby before midnight. Ha.

Sometime after midnight on Thursday, Steven and I decided I should be checked to see where we were. I was just about 10 cm dilated, but my water had not broken yet. My midwife Shannon went ahead and broke my water and then we were just waiting for the urge to push. But it was still just contraction after contraction after contraction. This baby was comfy and cozy and NOT in a rush. While sitting under the spray of a warm shower, I’m still not sure if I truly felt the urge to push or I simply decided, by God this is it! This baby is going to come out!

I remember trying different pushing positions, and by this time my contractions had slowed down. I was so exhausted that I would doze off while waiting to push with the next wave. Mandy was resting her head on one side of me and Steven was resting his head on the other side. We’d get a few minutes of snooze and then like a jolt I would curl up and they’d be at attention and the counting and pushing continued. I seriously will never be able to find words to describe the exhaustion; mentally, physically, emotionally. I literally was tapped in to some guttural, out-of-body strength. With no pain medicine in my system, every cell and fiber of my being was a part of this process, willing my body to free this baby. I finally settled into a position that seemed to be working. The squat bar was set up and Steven crawled up behind me becoming the strength that kept me upright.

After 50 hours of laboring and 3 hours of pushing, an 8 lb 1.5 oz, 21 inch baby took a breath in this world. With Steven’s body curled behind me like a protective shell, his head resting in the curve of my neck, we watched as our baby came into this world. "It's a girl! She's perfect! She's beautiful!! I'm in love!!" Steven exclaimed over and over. I think I managed to muster a whisper, "My baby, my baby..." Immediately she was in my arms; I was in Steven’s. Someone asked, “What’s her name?” Steven and I looked at each other. Without talking about it, without running through our list of options, we locked eyes and smiling, we cried out, “Lucy Pearl!” In an instant the past 9 months flashed before me and it wasn’t a baby inside me this whole time, curious if it was a boy or a girl. It was Lucy Pearl; as familiar and ingrained as if I’d known her my whole life. I felt as if that day I told Steven we were having a baby, that maybe I had already told him that we were having us a Lucy Pearl.

In those next few minutes, the placenta delivered just fine. But my uterus was exhausted and couldn’t quite find the energy to keep contracting and stop the bleeding. Our midwife calmly asked Steven to climb off the bed and he took Lucy in his arms. She explained to me that I needed a shot of pitocin to help stop the bleeding. A shot in the leg and some painful belly massages later, I stopped hemorrhaging and I was okay. Steven, Lucy, and I were then left to have some precious quiet time as a family of three.

I remember lying there, with this warm naked baby, nursing for the first time and looking up at me with big, clear eyes. I praised God. I praised him for the strength that he ingrained inside each woman. I praised him for the mind-blowing miracle of birth. And I knew it was worth it. I wouldn’t change my birth experience for anything. I never once doubted that my body was fully equipped to have this baby free of any kind of medicine. And there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for his design and for the strength I found in Him. I realize that every birth experience is deeply personal and that nothing belittles the miraculous and joyous outcome of new life. But my prayer is that women become empowered by the knowledge that they are fully capable of delivering natural, if they choose.

It was awhile after Lucy was born that I realized it was actually Friday morning; not Wednesday, not Thursday, but Friday. Still in the delivery room, Steven went to go get our bags out of the car. I asked him to get my mom on the way out. I wasn’t quite ready to be alone. Still lying naked in the bed I just squatted on to deliver my baby, I was holding my baby, my baby girl. It was a raw moment to say the least. My mom didn’t hold Lucy. I’m not even sure she touched her just yet. But I remember her standing over the bed, with tears of relief, no doubt praying over her daughter who just delivered a daughter. My dad then came in with Steven and they were all around the bed and it just felt like such a complete circle.

And there you were Lucy; in our arms, bright eyed and ready to meet the world.

I swear sometimes I feel like God whispers in my heart...it only gets better.

I think my heart just might bust if it does.

Best birthday present ever...

2011-08-31T05:34:00.000-07:00

Slow down...

2011-08-28T19:29:00.001-07:00

Seriously, another picture of Lucy??

But this one is special.

Do you see it?

No??

Bam!!

So yes, I was excited to find this plethora of new hair strands. But that's really not what is so special.

Look closer...

Closer...

SEE IT???

My baby girl has teeth.

A few days after turning 5 months, we were sitting on the back porch and Steven was letting Lucy chew on his knuckle and...OUCH! Sure enough, those little suckers were poking through. She handled it like a champ. I was prepared for horrible, cranky, fussy teething and she just asked for a little extra T.L.C. and they just slid right through before we realized what was happening. That evening we just sat on that porch celebrating, but also a little dumbstruck, realizing the milestones will not be slowing down any time soon.

Bittersweet to say the least.

Definitely more sweet than bitter. But slow down Lucy girl, there's no rush.

Baby likes a party!

2011-08-28T06:13:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my parents came up and we took baby girl to our local river festival. A little heat, a little breeze, people watching, live music, good food, cold drinks...all while sitting by the river.

Lucy loved it. She loved smiling at the people who came up and talked to her. She loved the lights and the music, dancing with her daddy, and cat-naps on her mama's chest. And I loved watching her personality develop even more; watching my happy, friendly, music-loving sweet girl enjoy a new experience with incredible ease.

Outdoors and live music. Yep, definitely our daughter.

My godson turns ONE!

2011-08-22T08:47:00.000-07:00

There is this precious little boy, Ryder.

Ryder and Lucy will be the best of buds.

He'll come with us fishing and on camping trips.

Lucy will show him a few guitar chords.

Ryder will make her laugh.

They will tell each other secrets while their Mama's sip wine and catch up.

There are great memories to be made.

I'm just excited to be a part of this little man's life and to get to watch him grow into an incredible person.

The start of a long friendship...

Getting ready for his pool party!

Love you Ryder James Thomas!

The Fifth Month

2011-08-11T08:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Lucy,

Happy 5 months sweet girl. This fifth month was another big one for you. Things like, you saw the ocean and played in the sand for the first time. And bigger things like, you're sitting up on your own. No pillows or anything. I wouldn't suggest reaching for anything though, that's when the whole balance thing gets a little tricky. And you hug. You HUG. You wrap that little hand around the back of my neck and squeeze. I can barely stand it.

I am more and more aware of how fast time flies and I want to capture everything.

Although I could never have enough pictures of your blue eyes and happy baby smiles...

I find myself wanting to document all the details.

I want to remember all of your favorite things.

Lucy, you are just pure love. Everything sweet, good, and magical. I catch myself thinking about how awesome it will be when you start learning to talk and we can communicate. Then I look over at you and you scrunch your nose, making your eyes squint, then one corner of your lip starts curling up into a smirk that's always followed with a snort and a giggle. I totally agree Lucy, who needs words.

Love,
Mama

A Dress for Lucy

2011-08-04T12:33:00.000-07:00

I made a dress for Lucy. Out of a tea towel I snagged for $2 from a bargain bin a couple years ago.

I do not consider myself a crafty person. I simply have a creative curiosity. I see something and I think, "I can do that." Apart from a hand quilting class I took and crochet lessons from a wonderful woman I used to work with, most of my skills come from one philosophy...

If I were a pioneer woman, settling in the heart of the Appalachians, what would I do?

Genius, hunh?

Or maybe just lazy.

Nonetheless, it's about simplifying and being resourceful. You need something warm to cover you in bed...stitch together materials to create a quilt. Your children need to be clothed...form a dress. There were no instructional videos or craft sections in Barnes and Noble (which I can become obsessed with). But sometimes all the jargon and instructions and technique can become overwhelming and confusing. That's when I strip it back down to my philosophy.

I want to turn this towel into a dress.

I traced the neckline of a dress she already had and made a simple pattern.

I cut out the front and back, sewed the sides together, hemmed the edges, found some lace in my jar of pretty things and stitched it along the bottom, and voila.

Lucy doesn't have any hair accessories, and has been asking for some. With extra strips of the towel I wove a headband to start her collection. While not exactly keeping her hair out of her face, I figure it'll keep sweat from dripping in her eyes on our walks.

My philosophy may sound silly, but it works for me. It does not create perfection. But it does let Lucy rock out in a dress with produce on it.

The point is that I learn something new each attempt and hopefully will keep improving.

It's not very difficult to try with a muse like this.

Uncle Tyler and the sea...

2011-08-01T16:27:00.000-07:00

Last week Lucy and I, with my sister, niece, nephew, and mom, went to visit my brother who now lives on Wilmington Island which is nestled right in between Savannah and Tybee Island. Steven joined us later but for the first few days it was just my siblings.

Now I ADORE my sister's husband and my brother's wife. They make our family feel complete and they make two of the most loved people in my life extremely happy, and for that I am eternally grateful. But there was something nostalgic about spending time as just the first born, middle child, and baby.

I'm two hours from my sister and now five hours from my brother. Sometimes months go by without seeing them. Fortunately for me, my family happen to also be my closest friends. And as with any true friend, time does not matter. When we're together we celebrate it, we treasure it, and we live in that moment. We talk about new jobs, being married, and having babies. And just maybe laugh a little at memories from those awkward years when only your siblings really get a true up-close, front seat view.

You know what I'm saying.

The reality is that my brother and sister are the only people that I will know from birth to the grave. Think about that. How many people do you have in your life that were there when you were born and God willing,will be there when you're old and gray? That's why I think one of the greatest gifts a parent can give to a child, is a sibling. And then nurture those relationships. Growing up, being mean and hateful to each other wasn't tolerated. We were taught to value and cherish each other.

Of all the things that will shape Lucy and help her grow as a person, I know that becoming a sister, a big sister no less, will be a life changing role. It's a gift I look forward to giving her one day.

So back to our visit.

One thing we all discussed and agreed upon is the importance of being a priority in the lives of each of our growing families. I love my sister's children as my own and I know I will feel the same way about my brother's children, and they about mine. But what we realize is that it's not about how often we get to visit, but making the time to visit and then making the most of it.

This past week was a perfect example. My brother spent 6 days with Lucy, but in those 6 days she went to her first baseball game and napped in his arms. She saw the ocean for the first time, bathing herself in sand and smiling while it was in her mouth, nose, ears, eyelashes, and in every other nook and roll. She squealed as the ocean breeze swirled, taking her breath away. She felt safe in his arms while kicking and splashing in the swimming pool. Relaxed into him during strolls across bridges and piers. They both got to just BE with each other. It was perfect.

When Lucy was 4 days old, my brother came to meet her. With him he brought a piece of paper...

For my Lucy Pearl, Love Uncle Tyler

The Sea Hath It's Pearls

The sea hath it's pearls
The heaven hath it's stars
But my heart, my heart,
My heart hath it's love.

Great are the sea and the heaven
Yet greater is my heart
And fairer then pearls and stars
Flashes and beams my love.

Thou little, youthful maiden,
come unto my great heart
My heart, and the sea, and the heaven
Are melting away with love!

~ HH (1799-1856)

Something tells me we won't have to worry about making that time and creating those memories :)

Thanks Uncle Tyler, we'll see you soon!

Some things Nana collected for Lucy...

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time."

Daddy Love

2011-07-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

I'm with Lucy all day, every day. Her warmth, her feel, her smell; they're as familiar to me as my own. But I'm realizing that sometimes, just sometimes, if I let myself take a step back then I get a chance to witness something.

A baby girl falling in love with her daddy.

The three of us were sitting on the back porch together listening to one of our favorite Cd's, a recording of Thunderbolt Patterson playing at our wedding reception. I decided to go inside and jump in the shower. When I got out, I could hear that the song playing was the one my dad and I danced to. I peeked out our bedroom window to see Steven swaying to the song with Lucy.

I just stood there and watched. Then went and grabbed my camera. I wanted to capture it. The beginning of a million daddy/daughter moments. She's going to learn so many things from him. She's going to be crazy about him.

It's moments like these that I become thankful for Steven all over again. Not just for the amazing role that he will play in Lucy's life, but the things she will learn from watching the way he treats me. Steven is patient with me and loving. He is slow to anger and respectful. The way he speaks to me is just as important as how he speaks to Lucy. I hope to always remember that being a loving husband and wife is also us being loving parents.

It's certainly not a challenge to remember why I love this man so much when this is the view outside my bedroom window...

Oh, and that song they were dancing to? Steven later admitted he got a little choked up. After hearing this song hundreds of times, this time...he gets it.

Father and Daughter

If you leap awake in the mirror of a bad dream
And for a fraction of a second you can't remember where you are
Just open your window and follow your memory upstream
To the meadow in the mountain where we counted every falling star

I believe a light that shines on you will shine on you forever
And though I can't guarantee there's nothing scary hiding under your bed
I'm gonna stand guard like a postcard of a Golden Retriever
And never leave 'til I leave you with a sweet dream in your head

I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loved his daughter more than I love you

~Paul Simon

Month 4

2011-07-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Lucy,

Happy 4 months! I can't decide if I feel more..."I can't believe it's only been 4 months!" or more like, "I can't believe it's already been 4 months!"

You technically are not a newborn anymore, but there's still so much newness. Yet there's something worn-in and familiar about you. Like slipping on that one pair of jeans every time, even though I probably own ten. You just fit right and feel good.

And thanks for being such a great confidence booster. I've never had someone so eager to listen to me talk and sing and ramble on about the 7.3 million thoughts that float through my head daily. Sometimes you just gaze at me with a sheepish little grin on your face and I think we both could sit like that forever.

Your vocal range has doubled. Along with the frequency of how often you test it out. And your movements are much more deliberate. Your little fingers are on the prowl; caressing your squeaky pig toy, trying to pick the stripes off our sheets, and pluck the flowers from the pillow.

And you love swimming. Yes, in the water. But also on the bed, the couch, your swing, and in our arms. Not sure if your plan is to become an Olympic swimmer or not, but you've got your frog and scissor kick down pat. We do need to work on your arm form though. You're a little flail-y.

Speaking of flailing. I thought I could balance you on one knee and a bowl of pasta on the other. I had already consumed a few bites, proud of myself for such a smooth system I created. Then with no warning you decide to practice your jazz hands and the bowl of pasta went flying. And since I've been saying, "I'll vacuum tomorrow..." for a week now, my lunch instantly grew a coat of black dog hair. Lucy, you laughed. You laughed AND snorted. You make life so much better.

You are funny, and happy, and full of joy. You're a 16 pound sack of sweet goodness. You're my sugar lump. I will try not to eat you.

Love,
Mama

Strength and Resilience

2011-07-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

I watch her sleep. So sweet, so perfect, so innocent.

Tracing my finger along her chubby arms, and rolling thighs, and plump cheeks…my chest tightens at the thought of something.

One day…she’s going to get hurt.

Yes there will be the scraped knee, bumped head, busted lip kind of hurt. I know how to fix those. I know those heal.

It’s the other kind.

She’s going to go to school. And maybe come home crying because she wasn’t picked to play on the playground, or she overheard some girls talking about her, or the boy she likes doesn’t even know her name. What if she feels like she’s not good enough? Or she feels too tall, too awkward? What if she doesn’t feel pretty enough, or feels like she never says the right thing? What if she puts her all into something, and she doesn’t get chosen, she doesn’t win?

I pray that God grants me the wisdom to guide her. To protect that sweet, perfect, innocent heart.

I wonder though. Will she take after me and her strength and sense-of-self will slowly build and mature through every experience, heartbreaking and joyous, and through the safe haven of a loving family? Will she not see her strength until she’s looking back from the other side?

Or will she take after her father, who seemed to be born with a strength and resilience that, even at a young age, guided him and helped him rise above adversity?

Maybe she’ll fall somewhere in between; the solid strength of her father, but the sensitivity to be comforted in the arms of her daddy and me. We will hold her and dry her tears. We will pray together. We will remind her that her Maker delights in her; she was created in His image. That her family adores her and she is fiercely loved. I will let her know that birds of sorrow will pass over her head but she can choose to not let them build a nest in her hair, because tomorrow is a new day.

Then I will close her bedroom door and I will probably cry…because my little girl was hurt.

Until then, I will continue to pray for her strength; for good and loving friends to be placed in her path, and that she will always know how fiercely she is loved.

Now back to just watching her sleep…

And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love. I pray that you can understand how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than any person can ever know. But I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:18-19

Happy 4th!!

2011-07-04T15:01:00.001-07:00

Cousins

2011-06-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

Lucy got to visit with her cousins last weekend. They already have a bond that I can't wait to watch grow.

I like using this time as practice for when Lucy has siblings...

I truly love my sister's babies. I pray I will always have a close relationship with them. I think I was able to skip over a lot of the 'first baby' stress and worry because I spent so much time with her babies.

This sweet thing.

Who by the way, really loves my baby girl.

I mean she really loves her Lucy.

I also enjoyed baby training with this handsome fellow.

He's going to be one more boy looking out for Lucy.

It feels like Lucy already has siblings. And that means so much too me.

While waiting for dinner Maeve told me to follow her because she had a secret to tell me...

I had to get really close to hear her whisper...

Her secret??

And I know she'll make good on that promise.

Sweet Dreams...

2011-06-22T09:42:00.001-07:00

Father's Day {Part 3}

2011-06-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

So, I wasn't planning on a Part 3. But the three of us had such a nice day together I wanted to share. There's nothing like quality family time shared with fish, trees, and bugs...

Father's Day {Part 2}

2011-06-19T19:03:00.000-07:00

I asked Lucy what she thought about her Daddy...

Father's Day {Part 1}

2011-06-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

I could write a novel on how much I love my dad. But at the same time, word's can't possibly express what he means to me.

The card I found for him this year said this:

They say a man's actions speak louder than words, and your actions have always spoken of love.

The card was simple, but it's sentiment represented my dad to his core. You could describe the way my dad loves as...simple. The way it should be. It's uncomplicated, unconditional, and sometimes undeserved. But it is always there, steady and unwavering, never effected by the actions of others. And yes, the words are exchanged frequently. But his love has always been expressed by his actions.

Growing up he was a fully present dad. From coaching our teams, to filming our made-up dances and plays, playing airplane on the bed, to being a human jungle gym outside...he was there. He laughed and played and he listened. He listened to a little girl talk about how she would be a rock star when she grew up. He listened to a teenager passionately argue about why it was vital that we do something about saving the whales and trees and orphans of the world. He listened to a college student ask questions, frustrated with politics and religion. And now he listens to a grown woman talk about learning to be a wife and a parent. He listens and then responds from his heart.

He teaches right and wrong by how he lives his life. I don't have one memory of him raising his voice at me. But maybe that's because I was such a perfect child ;) But I do remember how much I did and still do respect him. When you're loved that fully and without conditions, you don't want to do anything that would hurt or disappoint.

I've learned a lot from my father and I still have much to learn. Anytime I've been hurt by someone or am frustrated, I call him. His advice is always about taking the high road. He can give that advice because that's the road he takes in his own life. He understands that anger only keeps you captive. You can't fake things like love and peace and contentment. When those dominate your heart, it flows through everything you do and how you treat people. And that's my father. People enjoy his company. They want to be around him. He loves.

So thank you Papa. Thank you for encouraging educated passion, inspiring me to do what makes me happy, reminding me to keep life simple, and for loving the way you do.

Maybe one day I'll write that novel...

Summer Storm

2011-06-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

I have always loved storms. They have never really scared me. There's something about them that is actually peaceful and calming. And humbling too.

One of my favorite storm memories is from a backpacking trip in Alaska. We were getting ready to cross a river but had to stop because a storm popped up and the river was rising and quickening faster than we could get across. We each found a perch to wait it out. The lightning was straight out of a mythological legend of an angry Zeus. The thunder was shaking the earth and knocking boulders loose into the water. I should have been terrified. But it was amazing. I was in awe. I couldn't help but marvel at how teeny tiny I was, helpless in the hand of One who is bigger and greater then I can even comprehend. But I was getting this glimpse of Him and suddenly remembered the words to a song...My Lord is near me all the time.

I have a new favorite storm memory. It's a little less dramatic.

While on the back porch under a tin roof, we felt the wind pick up.

And watched the clouds roll in.

And the rain start hitting the deck.

And then it came on down.

Thunder boomed and lightning cracked all around us. I was holding my sweet baby girl. She wasn't scared. She never even flinched. Eyes wide and in my arms, she just took it all in. I am thankful she feels the same peace and calm that I do, even in the midst of a storm.

And that same song from the Alaskan valley, was in my head again. This time I got to sing it to Lucy.

In the lightning flash across the sky
His mighty pow’r I see,
And I know if He can reign on high,
His light can shine on me.

I’ve seen it in the lightning, heard it in the thunder,
And felt it in the rain;
My Lord is near me all the time,
My Lord is near me all the time.

When the thunder shakes the mighty hills
And trembles ev’ry tree,
Then I know a God so great and strong
Can surely harbor me.

I’ve seen it in the lightning, heard it in the thunder,
And felt it in the rain;
My Lord is near me all the time,
My Lord is near me all the time.

When refreshing showers cool the earth
And sweep across the sea,
Then His rainbow shines within my heart,
His nearness comforts me.

I’ve seen it in the lightning, heard it in the thunder,
And felt it in the rain;
My Lord is near me all the time,
My Lord is near me all the time.

The Third Month

2011-06-10T18:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Lucy,

You're 3 months old. It's only been 3 months but yet it feels like you've always been here. Which I guess in a way you have been. I carried you in my heart, then I carried you in my belly, and I now I carry you in my arms. And no surprise here but I love you even more. I no longer feel like my world has turned every which way. I feel me again, only better. I still enjoy all the things I did before, but now I have the joy and honor of introducing it all to you. You are my ultimate muse. The beauty I have always found in the little things all around me are now magnified by 1,000 by imagining the view through your eyes. I watch as your eyes widen on our walks and you soak up the contrast of the silhouetted trees against a clear blue sky.

And I swear you are already trying to imitate the birds. Like I've been telling you since you were in my belly...

Last week you smelled, for the first time. And I got to introduce those to you. There is so much more.

My time spent during the day with just the two of us is no longer quiet filled with just my racing mind. We sing to each other and carry on the most intriguing conversations. And your laugh! I could listen to that sound every second for a lifetime. You love it when we read books. You hang on to my every word and usually talk along with me. Your little hands are so much more deliberate. When you reach out and hold my finger or rest your hand on my arm or rub my side while you're eating or curl your fingers around my neck when I'm holding you, it feels on purpose now. Sometimes you even sigh, as if you can relax knowing you're with me. I love it.

We do pause for the occasional cat-nap. Where I gladly stop everything and be still so that you can lay on me and rest. I promise to do this for as long as you desire. There will never be anything more important then when you simply need me.

I still can't believe you sleep around 10 hours every night. Snuggled right in the middle of your dad and me. Funny that since you've arrived our household has never felt so rested. I didn't think it was supposed to work that way. But Lucy, you are such a peaceful baby. You have brought that peace and this incredible sense of quiet calmness into my life. Thank you.

Even with all that sleep, sometimes you still need help waking up. You start squirming with your tush in the air and you start smacking those lips and sucking on that hand. Your body is telling you to wake up and eat, but you just can't quite do it. I roll you over and you stretch with all your might and when you finally start to peel open those eyelids, the whole world gets a GOOD MORNING! With a giggle and the prettiest full gum smile I've ever seen. I just start laughing at you, my well-rested, happy, content baby who knows she's about to get breakfast in bed before we go out to the porch and start our day listening to those birds singing..for you, of course, Lucy Pearl.

You are so stinkin' cute I could just pinch your cheeks all day long. Maybe I will...

Love,
Mama

Mini Excursion

2011-06-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

I love those plans that pop-up last minute and end up being so refreshing you go to bed exhausted and smiling at what a great day you had. We headed to the Wildflower Cafe and Desoto Falls with our good friends Keith and Kristin. Lucy soaked up every minute. Well, except for the falls. That, she slept through.

I always reminisce on my backpacking adventures, but there are times when those memories rise up so strong inside me that if I don't get back out there I feel I may bust. Even more so now that I have Lucy. We already have a hardcore trail carrier and she'll be ready for it this fall. Until then, I will continue to enjoy our mini excursions.

As me ol' pal John Muir has said, "The Mountains are calling and I must go."

Meal Time

2011-06-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

I have to share something. A story I want to remember when Lucy is trying to convince me why she has to spend her last summer before college backpacking in the Alaskan wilderness and that she'll be perfectly safe and can take care of herself.

Lucy was in her baby wrap belly-to-belly with me and we were working out. Lucy stays pretty content and entertained any time I wear her and was giggling through the first set of squats and lunges. The giggles quickly turned in to her hunger fuss and I knew if I didn't stop soon...well, that fuss can escalate quickly. I was trying to at least finish one more set when I noticed something. Lucy had stopped fussing and was bobbing her head around like she does when she's trying to find me to nurse in the mornings. I decided to just be still and see what happens. With her eyes closed, she freed her arm and eventually pulled down my tank top and continued to bob around until she found what she was looking for and latched on, sighing as she began filling her tummy. After I finished cracking up and hollering for Steven to come look at what his genius daughter just did, I almost teared up in awe.

Nursing did not come easy for me, something I did not expect. At three weeks, Lucy had done so much damage I was instructed to pump for however long it took to let myself heal. As much as I wanted to feel better and even though Lucy was still going to be getting breast milk, it devastated me. I was so worried that she would get confused and not understand why her boob was taken away and then have a hard time going back. I now see that my hormones might have still been playing a part in the incessant worrying and need to overreact, but at the time it felt like this awful, horrible, legitimate, HUGE DEAL. I cried and cried and prayed and prayed. I wonder if it was a first for God to hear so many prayers and pleas about healing nipples and preventing nipple confusion?

In the end, Lucy was 8 weeks before I was fully healed and we got a hang of it. For Lucy, it was like she never skipped a beat. For Mama, breastfeeding will go down in my book of challenges. Right up there with camping on frozen lakes in -40 degree weather, working with juvenile delinquents, learning to snowboard in the Rockies, and my own backpacking trip across the Alaskan wilderness.

Which brings me back to the wonder of what I witnessing. All that worry when I should have been remembering who created Lucy. You know, that same God who feeds the birds and dresses the flowers, numbers the stars and grains of sands and the hairs on our heads. With as needy and dependant as babies are, they are born to survive and thrive. It was so impressive to see my sweet baby girl not worrying about her next meal, she was given the innate ability to get what she needed. Smiling, I thanked God for the opportunity to provide my baby with the nourishment she needs. I thanked Him for the lesson in patience and perseverance, one I hope will make me a better mother.

Then I basked in the brilliance of my little 11 week old go-getter. Lucy continued to eat. I got to finish my workout.

I couldn't resist.

2011-06-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

It seems like every where I look there's another baby being born with thick gorgeous locks. It's adorable! Well, Lucy is starting to notice and keeps asking me why she doesn't have any and if she'll ever be able to have a drawer full of bows. I definitely don't want her to feel self-conscious over her precious blond peach fuzz that I could rub all day long, so I decided to make her something we could tape to the bathroom mirror for her to see every morning...

GET READY LUCY

2011-06-01T14:38:00.001-07:00

She makes me smile...

2011-05-31T10:27:00.000-07:00

Celebrate

2011-05-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

My mother can make anything beautiful. A regular party becomes magical, an ordinary day becomes a celebration. With our growing and moving family, we can't always worry about the actual date of any holiday or birthday or special occasion. When we are together...we celebrate. And although we only need each other, thanks to my Mama's love of detail and beauty, we celebrate in style.

A party for Lucy...

I'm thankful that Lucy will grow up around family that will teach her every day is a celebration.

Lucy's Room

2011-05-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

We woke up this morning and Lucy was all, "Mama, I want to show people my room."

Lucy wants to thank her Nana, Papa, Great Aunt Sonya, Aunt Amanda, and Uncle Tyler for all the painting and sewing and moving that made her room perfect!

Lucy is already 2...months!

2011-05-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Lucy,

You’re 2 months old and it’s been a great second month. With no fault of your own, that first month was a little rough. As stated before, I cried every day and didn’t bathe much, and you almost chewed my nipples off – seriously, our lactation consultant said they were the worst she’s seen. But we’re good now…YAY! (And yes, I mentioned the nipples just in case one day you wanted to thank me for the breast milk you get to continue to enjoy.) But the end of the fourth week came and it was like a fog lifted and I was all, “You are the coolest baby ever!” Lucy, I’m in love with being your mama. When you sleep I still can’t help but stare at you, which by the way, at night we’re talking 7 to 8 hours straight. Now if only I could sleep 7 or 8 hours straight. I’m usually up waiting for you so I can watch your world continue to expand. It’s pretty awesome. Just yesterday your dad was drying you off from a bath and you saw yourself in the mirror, really saw yourself, for the first time. You were so funny. It was clear you found that baby in the mirror very charming and engaging. I would have to agree :) Oh, and I’m addicted to your smiles. So is your dad, and boy can he collect them from you. There is so much sweetness in them; from your closed mouth smirk, to your all out gummy smile. You are so ready to just bust out a big ole’ belly laugh! And I’m enjoying your ever widening vocal range as well. You give the birds a run for their money. I think you’re going to be a singer. You also have an inquisitive mood that is hilarious. Your eyes get so wide and you hold your little head up as high and straight as you can and soak it all in, very serious like. You love our walks, or even just sitting outside. You’re still obsessed with ceiling fans. You don’t mind meeting new people at all, although it does wipe you out (just like your mama.) You’ve attended parties, luncheons, a wedding, even a formal gala with me and had perfect manners. I stopped worrying about how to do things with a baby and I just do them but with a new fabulous accessory…you. Even something like making a hair appointment, can you take new babies with you to a highlight and cut? I finally just made the appointment. You sat in my lap staring at this girl doing all this crazy stuff to your Mama’s hair, laid on my belly during the hair wash, and fell asleep in my arms as soon as the hair dryer came on. I have so many plans for us kid.

Every day gets better. Each week blows my mind. And now realizing how quickly months will start going by, I just hold you even more often. I can take a million pictures, which I probably will. But what I want seared into my brain is your sweet smell, and how when you start falling asleep you aimlessly rub your fat little hand on my chest and neck and face. How when you nuzzle in my neck and I lean my face down on top of your head, it feels like smooth velvet. And your snorts and grunts when you’re trying to wake up but can’t quite open your eyes. You are amazing Lucy Pearl.

Love,
Mama

A lot can happen in 2 years...

2011-05-09T13:27:00.000-07:00

It's fitting that my anniversary follows Mother's Day this year because the joke in my family is that I married my mother. A type A extrovert who's organized, driven, and has a heart of gold.

Two years married to the man of my dreams.

Steven holds himself to the highest standard in every area of his life. In how he runs a business, how he runs a home, how he treats others, how he serves others, his role as husband, and now his role as a father. Because of that, I now have higher standards for myself. I know "he makes me a better person" is soooo cliche, but it's just down right true! He keeps me on my toes and he motivates me to go after what I want. I see how much he has helped me grow as a person in just our two years of marriage and I'm even more excited about spending the rest of my life with him.

I will never forget this second year. We went from just being husband and wife to becoming parents. But I'm not sure I realized how much closer pregnancy and labor would make us. I've already mentioned before what solid strength and support he was for me, but I won't ever be able to truly express what it was like. I wasn't anxious or worried about natural labor and I won't be in the future. Faith in my God and a strong, loving husband make a pretty powerful combination :)

It just makes me smile remembering when I first started falling in love with Steven and how part of that process was looking at him and knowing that I wanted him to be the father of my children. Well seeing him as a father now just gives me a whole new part of him to fall in love with.

I wonder how many women can say that their husbands are teaching them to become better mothers? Because I can.

There's a chapter in the Bible that I've started looking at every day. It's my prayer. It's what I want most in this world. I know that living at even my own highest standard is not what Steven and Lucy deserve. But I can surrender and simply live by God's standards and give them the greatest blessing I can as a wife and a mom. In Proverbs it says:

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life... She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

I realize it’s almost the end of Mother’s Day, but I’ve spent the whole day holding my baby. That made it a little difficult to type. To be honest, I really don’t feel like a mother yet. I just feel really, really lucky to have this adorable, cute, beautiful doll that I get to make smile and coo, and I hold her while she sleeps, and I clip her little nails, and soak in the tub with her, and pick out her clothes, and feed her when she’s hungry, and go on walks during the day, and sing to her all my favorite songs. But a mother…I don’t quite feel like one yet.

See, I have a mom that sets the bar pretty high. I can’t think about my childhood without smiling. It was amazing, and largely due to the fact that I had a mother fully involved in every aspect of my life. Of course it is also full of memories and tales of my dramatics, middle child woes, and a little teen angst:) But there wasn’t anything I attempted, sometimes failing, or accomplished where she wasn’t there with support, encouragement, advise, and love. And that didn’t stop when I left for college. Adventure after adventure, trip after trip, she stayed excited for me. Even though I know she was worried and sometimes scared to death for my safety. But she knew I was following my heart and growing as a person and what I needed was support and prayers.

And then after college I met a boy and only a few months later was moving 2 hours from home to be with him. Now she had to worry about the safety of my heart. But there was that support. She embraced the man I love from the first time meeting him, the man she had been praying for since I was born. She helped me plan the wedding of my dreams and joyfully, with my father, gave me away to my husband. Joyfully, because I was over the moon happy…and that is what made her happy.

And then last summer I got to tell her I was pregnant. Even with my whole pregnancy still in front of me, she was already in love with my child. Eight weeks ago, Lucy Pearl arrived. I became a mother. But I needed my mother more than I ever had before. Not just because she helped make sure my needs were met, or that she cleaned my house like it had never been cleaned before, or that we were fed for weeks, or even that I could rest because I knew Lucy was as ferociously protected in her arms as in my own. I just needed her. And now I realize that maybe it’s because when I was just a chunky, bald baby she was the person who made me smile and coo, and held me when I slept, and clipped my nails, and soaked in the tub with me, and picked out my clothes, and fed me when I was hungry, and took me on walks and sang to me.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day! Lucy's first Easter. I have no idea how many times I've heard the story of the sacrifice and price that Jesus paid for my sins, it definitely does not get old. But it was something else hearing it this morning while holding Lucy in my arms. Holding her takes worship to a whole new level.

Lucy also got a surprise from the Easter Bunny today...

Her very own garden! Filled with sweet potatoes, squash, cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, lettuce, okra, carrots, onions, and bush beans. Now that's an Easter basket :)

I have always loved Easter and I hope Lucy does too. I look forward to the time when Lucy can begin to understand what this day really represents.

Jesus thank you for saving me.

And here's to kept promises, fresh beginnings, and new life...

Lucy Pearl

2011-04-16T23:40:00.001-07:00

Dear Lucy,

I had planned on continuing to write you a weekly letter once you were born. You are now 5 weeks old. Whoops. But you see, it would have required me to put you down and stop staring at you and I haven't been able to do that. I did write a detailed birth story for you that I will share some time. It was amazing. I was told natural labor is like a marathon, and you have 9 months to train. You thought I should run 3 marathons. Contractions starting Wednesday morning on March 9th at 4am and you finally making an appearance Friday March 11th at 5:35am. But man did you come out wide eyed and ready to meet the world. And you haven't been rushed since. You have been such a content happy baby and perfect in every way.

Me, your Mama, on the other hand... What a roller coaster it's been. I had no idea I could cry so much and half the time not even really know why. I mean, your cries don't even hold a candle to mine! And I definitely have you beat in frequency. But how do you know how you will respond when your world is turned every which way for the first time ever? I had such a wonderful time being pregnant with you that I didn't understand all the talk of the crazy hormones...until now. Oh, and the fact that I've been nursing a Piranha for the last month didn't really help the situation either (don't worry, we're getting much better at it!) But your dad, Praise God, is the most incredible man. First, you should have seen him during the labor. He never left my side, and I would have crumbled if he had. He was my strength. Literally, I leaned, hugged, and held on to him for 50 hours. He was meeting all my needs and sometimes it felt like he sensed a contraction coming before I even felt it begin. My heart just swells knowing that he is going to be that kind of strength for you when you go through your own challenges in life. And boy is he obsessed with you! He's crazy about you girl! Total in awe, giddy, bursting with pride, can't stop smiling and laughing in love. And get ready. Speaking from experience, there is nothing like being loved by a dad who finds tremendous joy in being your father.

And then there's family. I pray your dad and I will blanket you with the same love and support and HELP, I've received from my family. Your Nana and Papa call it "circling the wagons." I needed help, so no questions asked, family was there. Circling me with support and encouragement and love (and cooking and cleaning!). To know you're in a family that will protect you and support you by any means necessary is a blessing that I'm thankful you will know too.

Ultimately though, I had to crawl into the arms of my God. A place that I want you to know intimately. It's a place that at times in my life I thought I moved away from, but looking back realize I was always in His grasp. In the last few weeks, there have been quiet times when it's just me holding you and sitting with our God. Lucy, alway make time to quietly sit with Him.

Your birth was an out-of-body, internal revelation all at the same time. But my transformation has been since you've arrived. Postpartum has been a challenge, a physical, emotional, and mental challenge. But every day I'm breaking through a fog and I realize my faith is stronger then the day before. God has been refining me and molding me. I remember praying on my wedding day and while you were inside me that God would teach me truly how to love selflessly. That's what I'm learning. I'm so thankful for you, this miraculous person, whose needs mean so much more than my own. My biggest struggle has been looking at you this perfect baby that the Lord gave me and then wondering why I was the one so weak and broken. A loved one reminded me though that God chose you Lucy to be mine. I am fully equipped to be your mother and God delights in seeing us together. It was such a great reminder that the most important thing is for me to always seek God and love Him with all my heart, period. Baby girl, God has already used you to bring me closer to Him. What a gift. I prayed every day that even while you were in the womb God would fill you with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. You are five weeks old and I seriously can already see these fruits in you. I'm not kidding!

Lucy means light. In the mornings you like when I sing This Little Light of Mine. Lucy I know your light is going to shine. Only 5 weeks old and God has already worked through you. I am filled with intense peace and joy when I think about all I'm going to learn while I watch you grow. What I hope you learn from me? Love. Love the Lord your God with all your heart. Love your family unconditionally. Love God's creation and all who are in it. And love yourself because you, Lucy Pearl, are fearfully and wonderfully made. You don't believe me?

Check these out...

You're unbelievable kid.

Love,
Mama

Soon...

2011-03-09T03:14:00.001-08:00

Dear Baby,

Technically you won't be 39 weeks until tomorrow. But I thought I might go ahead and share something with you this week that other people have asked me about as well.

It’s pretty much a given that when people find out they are pregnant, they also find out if they’re having a boy or girl before the baby comes. Your dad and I chose not to. Some people think that’s crazy, some people think it’s pretty cool. But just in case you’re curious one day as to why, here’s a little of what was going on in my head and my heart and why I’m thankful I followed that feeling.

When we found out we were pregnant, we threw the idea out there about not finding out your sex and soon after I had a total peace about that being the route we would take. And once we decided, I simply didn’t consider any other option. It became overwhelmingly satisfying just knowing that you were part me, part your dad, part generations of family, and were being knit together by God. That was enough. It’s like it allowed me to just simplify. My thoughts were consumed with praying for your health and design, for the gifts and talents you would receive. Praying that even while inside my womb, God would fill you with love, joy, peace, and all of those Fruits of the Spirit. And it was just taking care of me and this baby growing inside. Your dad feels the same way. It hasn’t been about whether he’s going to have a son or a daughter; he gets to become a father.

But I’m not going to lie. When friends or family announce they’re expecting, there is part of me that hopes they find out because I want to KNOW! :) But that’s kind of how we’ve become with everything, we just want to know and we want to know immediately.

I've had some people ask how you plan a nursery without knowing. Well, just like you, your room is part me and my favorite things, part your dad and things that he loves, part things past down from family, and then we’ve left room to add things you like too once we meet.

And yes, it would be neat to call you by name those last months of growing in my belly.

But here’s how your dad and I see it too...

When you decide you’re ready to come, your dad will be there to literally help ‘catch’ you :) He then gets to lay you on my chest and tell me that we have a son or we have a daughter. Then during those next moments, your first moments of life outside of me, I’m going to hold you and feed you and look into your eyes, and talk to you and then your father and I will say “Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you…”, and you’ll be given a name. And I know I will be changed forever. So baby here’s to that moment!

I’ll meet you soon…

Love, Mama

38 Weeks

2011-03-03T17:42:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

A lot has been going on since I last wrote, besides you and me continuing to grow.

Your cousin Martin turned One! We had a fantastic party surrounded with family and it was just crazy to think that this time next year I'll be planning your first birthday.
Oh, and this beautiful woman here, your Great Grandma, turned 85!

Your Great Aunt Sandra also hosted a baby shower in your honor at the Governor's mansion.
It was incredible how many things we received for you! Your dad and I were overwhelmed and were reminded how blessed we are. I'm so excited for you to meet all these friends and family who have already been so supportive and generous with helping us prepare to welcome you.

But the biggest thing was when your Nana and Papa came to visit and we got to put everything together. Your Nana brought all the finishing touches that she has been sewing for your room and then we put everything in it's place. Kid…it looks amazing!!! Nana also helped me with my checklist of things still needed before you arrive and she helped organize everything we already have. You'll find that she is very good at that. And having that kind of help lets me stay in La La Land just thinking about you :) But we are ready, ready, ready. We are absolutely ready for you! This doesn't mean rush though, you take your time and continue to plump and come when you're ready.

Oh, and it's March. We get to meet you this month.

You are so loved.

Love, Mama

Week 36

2011-02-17T15:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

36 divided by 4 equals 9. This is the first day of our 9th month of pregnancy. That is pretty awesome. Your dad and I have been going to our natural birthing classes for five weeks now and have learned so much about this incredible experience and how God has perfectly designed everything to work, from the preparation that you will begin going through, to the preparation and changes my body will go through from now until you arrive. But we still have lots of things we'll be learning in the weeks to come. It's amazing what a little faith combined with good ol' fashion information will do to put a person at ease. I am so excited and filled with peace about what we will soon be going through together. And you better believe your dad and I are preparing! I've been doing all my stretches and exercises and your dad's been making sure I eat right and we walk every evening. He's also been working on relaxation techniques with me…as well as dealing with a sudden increase in my sensitivity and ability to create tears lately. But that's nothing for you to worry about, your dad is a very patient man. We also finished writing our birth plan last week, and we are so happy with our Nurse Midwife and Doula that will help us bring you into the world. There are still things for us to take care of before your arrival, but I'm having a hard time feeling like there's anything more important I should be doing then just simply waiting for you. You are definitely worth the wait.

Love,
Mama

Valentine

2011-02-13T19:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

Happy Valentine's Day! I will definitely be asking you to be my Valentine next year (I'm sure your dad won't mind). I got to celebrate a little early this year. Two years ago your dad was the first to receive the Young Heart of the Community award. It basically means he has a big ol' heart and is constantly giving back and serving others. Well, they throw a nice fancy party where they present these awards and we get to dress up and enjoy dinner and dancing. Since he still helps set everything up, I got to go as his date again this year. Getting dressed up in a formal gown at 35 weeks pregnant did have it's challenges. But it was a wonderful date. Your dad cleans up nice I'd say :) And I did love having you with me as well.

And as much as your dad is involved in the community, I realized that night there are quite a lot of people excited about your birth and ready to meet you.

We're getting close...so close.

Love, Mama

Happy 34 Weeks from Daddy

2011-02-03T18:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

This is your Pa here. Just wanted to drop you a quick line to let you know how excited I am to meet you. I have been filled with anticipation and excitement for months now. Your mom doesn’t even know what’s gotten into me lately because I have been so busy making this house perfect for your arrival. I’ve always been known to be a perfectionist, but I think this takes the cake! I can’t wait for you to meet your four-legged sisters-Shelby, Callie and Toccoa. Up until now, they have been my sidekicks everywhere I go. But I know that once you’re here, you’ll become the leader of the pack. You’ll be my new sidekick. But don't worry, the girls aren't going anywhere! They've already been very helpful.

They check on you and your Mama in the mornings:

They're so eager to help prepare for your arrival that I even caught them helping Mama test out your new rug in the nursery...

And I know they can't wait to include you on their walks and hikes and swims.

There is much that we’ll be able to do together and much to learn together. I will be teaching you some things along the way but you’ll probably be teaching me even more. This world is a big beautiful place and I can’t wait to show it all to you!

Until then…

I love you,

Daddy

33 Weeks

2011-01-27T15:43:00.001-08:00

Hey Baby,

Sorry I missed last week. But we have been working so hard getting the house ready for you! I know I've said it before, but your dad is amazing. He works so hard to provide the best for me and you. But mainly he works hard because that is just who he is. No one has to be telling him to or watching him. When he chooses to do something, he's going to do it right and he's going to follow through every time. There are so many traits I hope you learn from him.

Your Nana, Papa, Uncle Tyler and Aunt Amanda also came to visit and helped paint, clean, organize, stain wood, clean and paint some more. But I know they loved it. You will learn very quickly what this family is about. They will always be there for you, just like they have for me my entire life. I'm already thankful that you will get to grow up knowing what it feels like to be loved unconditionally with no judgements and to be surrounded with support and encouragement. And believe me, it's a wonderful feeling.

So we're just about finished with making the house and your room even more beautiful and perfect for you. But your dad and I both know that at the end of the day, the house, your room, the things...have nothing to do with your arrival. We have been ready for you for a long time.

Love,
Mama

31 Weeks...and 1 day.

2011-01-14T20:27:00.001-08:00

It snowed baby!! Your dad and I had so much fun playing with Shelby, Callie, and Toccoa in the snow, but what really made us excited was seeing all the kids out sledding and building snowmen and just seeing their pure joy and excitement. We're looking forward to playing with you and being there to introduce you to your first snow.

See you soon love!

Love, Mama

What? 30 Weeks!

2011-01-06T18:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

The BIG THREE O! Weeks that is :) That means after this week I will be counting down in the single digits the number of weeks until I meet you. This last weekend we celebrated the New Year in the mountains with good friends and your Nana and Papa. I'm so excited to have you with us next year. Even though I am very aware of what an unbelievable, life-changing year this will be, I’m really not sure if there’s a way for me to fully comprehend it all. This year I will be working for myself and returning to my Renaissance roots in writing and photography and music and whatever else inspires me. Which I can not wait to teach and expose you to it all! But I have such a peace about it and am blessed to have your father who is so supportive and truly believes in me. And then of course, there’s you. 2011 will forever be seared in to my brain, your birth year. The year my first child was born.

I continue to ask God to work on my heart, to make me a more loving, patient, joyful, and content daughter and sister and friend and wife…and now mother. I’m not sure if I have ever prayed for something more fervently then for God to reach into my core and teach me to live the Fruits of His Spirit in every secret and quiet corner of my life so that every moment I spend with you will be teaching and revealing to you the God that so desperately loves you and is creating you now in my belly. Forget the New Year’s resolution, I will call this a Life resolution. For you child, I pray for Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control.

Just a couple more months of winter and then you will be here, ushering in my new Spring.

Love,
Mama

Christmas Eve Eve and 28 Weeks

2010-12-23T16:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

Today you are 28 weeks old. That means 7 MONTHS!! Today is the first day of the third trimester. We're in the home stretch kid. It's also Christmas Eve Eve tonight. You will love Christmas! Lucky for you, I pretty much listen to Christmas music when ever I feel like it all year round. I usually only listen to it in my car or when I'm by myself so that your dad won't make fun of me. But I figure if I introduce you to it early on as well, you will naturally see how wonderful it is to listen to the catchy joyful tunes all year long. And then your dad will be out numbered! Does that sound like a good plan or what?!?! And just wait until you hear the story behind the true meaning of Christmas and why we celebrate. It's a pretty amazing story, I'll tell you all about it.

Next Christmas I'll be holding you. But this year I will treasure having you tucked warm and cozy and safe inside my belly.

Dear Santa, I have everything I need.

Love,
Mama

27 Weeks

2010-12-17T16:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

What a couple of weeks it's been!! You actually turned 27 weeks yesterday and are definitely now full blown athlete in my tummy! But I love it. Except for maybe when you kick my bladder. That one I'm not too fond of. Especially in situations like Wednesday night, I was stuck in the car for two hours on my normally ten minute commute home from work because of the icy weather. Well, mostly because of unsafe drivers and people who freak out in response to bad weather. But we'll talk more about all of that in about 15 years or so. I did appreciate your company during that time, but again, I could have done without the bladder kicks. We also found out some news at the Dr.'s this week. Your legs and head are measuring 3 weeks ahead. Um, WOW. They said that meant a few different possibilities:

A. You had a growth spurt and would now slow down and let everything else catch up.
B. Due dates are not an exact science and I just might deliver a couple weeks earlier.
C. I may just give birth to a big headed, long legged baby.

Your dad and I are pretty positive we're looking at scenario C. You'll see when you meet the rest of your family. Your cousins are fairly long with big heads as well. But don't worry, I'll be able to give you plenty of advice and help you through the years of high water pants and never finding hats that fit. Throw in some really large feet, over sized glasses, and an overbite and you'll basically be re-living my childhood. I hope I'm not scaring you! You will be absolutely perfect and one day you will look back at your childhood and it will be the most treasured time of your life. I treasure my childhood memories dearly! And I can not wait to bless you with that same gift. Be prepared for lots of love and laughter and joy and music and adventure! You are so loved already it is ridiculous.

Love,
Mama

25 Weeks

2010-12-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

Today you're 25 weeks old! Crazy!! I can't believe how quickly time is flying. Last week was Thanksgiving Day, and I don't think I could be more thankful. But you might want to ask me that again next year too :)

Your dad and I spent some good old quality time together and with family. It was so neat to watch all of your cousins playing together and knowing what a fun, loving family event you will get to be a part of next Thanksgiving. Oh, and that woman below is your great grandmother. Just another amazing woman who will be in your life.

Then it was off to the cabin! We can't wait to take you to the mountains, and quite often! It's one of our favorite places. We had such a cozy perfect night.

We had hot chocolate,

treats by the fireplace,

and we played Scrabble until 2am. I promise we're cool.

I'll explain the game to you when you're older. But just so you know, we didn't have a dictionary with us and there was one word I tried to use but your dad said it didn't count because he didn't think it was in the dictionary. The next day I was curious, so I checked on the word...it was so in the dictionary. I realize this doesn't mean much to you right now, but it was a small victory for me :)

I'm so crazy about your dad kid...and you will be too.

Love,
Mama

23 Weeks

2010-11-18T17:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

Your dad is working late tonight. It doesn't happen a lot, thank goodness. I just miss him so much when we don't get to sit down and have dinner and spend our evenings together. Speaking of dinner though, have I told you what a great cook your dad is? Delicious! Of course I'll be providing your meals for a good while. But he can't wait to start cooking for you too. Now don't get me wrong, you'll eat just fine when your dad's not home. I can cook. Your dad just likes to add a little bit more pizazz to his meals. It's something he truly enjoys. But take tonight for example. I made a scrumptiously delicious pot of white chedder macaroni and cheese...and added sausage!! Ummmm, fancy!

Oh, and I read that you can now hear all the way through my belly. Yay!! I've been looking forward to this. My car CD player isn't working and I do not have a radio antenna, so I could use some company when I'm driving by myself. I hope you enjoyed the songs I sang to you on the way home today. I can't wait to sing to you while you're in my arms.

I'll make sure your dad tells you goodnight when he gets home.

I love you,
Mama

22 Weeks

2010-11-11T17:59:00.000-08:00

Hey Baby,

I think you look forward to Thursday night yoga just as much as I do. I definitely feel some downward facing dog going on in there! I am so thankful for your movements. Last Saturday morning your dad and I were eating breakfast in bed and for some reason I started to worry that maybe I was just creating in my head what I thought was you moving and maybe I hadn't really felt any movement at all. Just as my mind was starting to get the better of me, I prayed for God to remind me that you are in His hands. You are being fearfully and wonderfully knit together and I have faith in that promise. Well...it wasn't a few minutes later that low in my belly, I felt a clear as day, no question about it, THUMP THUMP THUMP! It was amazing! God heard my prayer and whispered in your ear to give me a little assurance :) And now I feel your taps and thumps every day and I so look forward to them.

Sorry for the short letter this week, but I have to go. Your dad just got back from Kroger with my weekly 2 gallon milk supply and he is now making some sugar cookies :)

I love you, I love you, I love you,
Mama

Sofia

2010-11-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

So I've been terrible about posting new photo shoots lately. I don't know...I guess it's just been a little distracting growing my first human being inside me and all :)

But a few weekends ago I had a session with the Guy family, which included the very cute, very fast moving 2 year old Sofia.

21 Weeks...almost. And a really BIG event!

2010-11-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

You won't be 21 weeks until tomorrow. But I wanted to write you early because you were a part of something really big last night and I wanted you to know about it. Last night your Great Uncle Nathan was elected to be the next Governor of our state. And you were there!

It was such an exciting and emotional night. I believe that one day you will actually learn about the November 2010 election day in school. And you will no doubt grow up in our family learning about what a privilege and responsibility it is to vote. And last night was an example of the power people have to make change just by their individual involvement and willingness to say, "No more. This is the kind of state and nation I want to live in and I won't settle for anything less."

But really I can't wait for you to meet and know your Uncle Nathan and Aunt Sandra. And to tell you about this race and their integrity. You will learn what it means to take the high road and not lose focus on your goal. You will learn what it looks like to lean on faith and family when you are being attacked and surrounded by lies and deceit. You will learn about the strength and courage it takes to answer the call to serve and protect people you love, people you don't know, even people trying to persecute you. You will learn about a man who at the end of every day, after all the stones have been thrown, has a heart full of truth and wisdom, and a foundation built on faith in God, and so he was victorious.

"We cannot control the evil tounges of others; but a good life enables us to disregard them." ~Cato the Elder (Roman orator and politician, 234 BC - 149 BC)

I was holding your cousin Maeve when it was announced that Nathan won the race and we were all cheering as he stepped up to the microphone. Your Uncle Nathan then raised his hand up in the air and shouted, "To God be the glory, great things HE has done!" Maeve asked me what he was doing and I told her he was praising and thanking God first. That is what I want you to learn child. To God be the glory and it is God that is in control. I'm telling you, you will be so proud of your family. Not to mention you'll be raised in a better state!

The only thing that would have made last night better would have been to have Grandma Deal and Grandma and Pop Dunagan with us. Their pride and love would have filled up that room brighter than any star. You would have even felt it all the way in my belly! But their spirit was no doubt present. And their role and involvement in this achievement began long before any committee, organization, or campaign was formed. And speaking of stories, kid I can't wait to tell you about your Great Grandparents. That's really where Uncle Nathan and Aunt Sandra's story begins.

It won't be long before you are with us to see the rest of this story unfold. But you know what is the best part?!?! I was already pumped about you trying Aunt Sandra's greens and cornbread for the first time...but now you just might be trying them out in the Governor's mansion ;)

Love,
Mama

Yee Haw!! 20 Weeks!

2010-10-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

What a great week! Your dad turned 31 this week. I know it sounds old, but I promise it's not. He still has so much energy. You might even have a hard time keeping up with him. You also turned 20 weeks today!!! We're half way there! I get to meet you in only a short 20 weeks. If it goes as fast as this first 20, I might as well see you tomorrow. We also had an ultrasound this week. Your sisters were very interested...

I want to go ahead and apologize if having sound waves shot in to your warm, cozy little home was annoying or uncomfortable. But it was so cool! You were making little sucking movements with your lips and drinking away. Daddy says you must take after me already if you're staying so hydrated. Another similarity we already have? Your legs kid! Good grief. Your dad now calls you Legs McDowell.

I'm trying to relax my abs as much as possible because I felt bad you looked so cramped in there.

If you have my leg length, I hope you take after your daddy's strength and coordination. Maybe you'll play soccer or basketball or be quite the dancer. But that will have to come from your Uncle Tyler. Unfortunately the rhythm gene skipped your dad and I. Although, I feel like I've got some pretty good moves, but your dad says I just look like I'm marching. We'll wait and see what you think.

I also found out…I am feeling you! A lot more then I thought I was. During the ultrasound I thought my stomach was growling. Nope. The Doc informed me that was you. She showed me what you were doing that made me feel the growl. The next day I was in my toning class and during a thigh buster move I felt the same growl. Is that your way of saying, "GO MAMA GO! YOU CAN DO IT!" Or was it, "MAMA, GO LAY ON THE COUCH AND EAT SOME ICE CREAM!" Hmmmmmm? I wonder…

I love you so much baby, from your little sucking lips to your long flamingo legs. I'll see you in 20 weeks.

Love,
Mama

Week 18

2010-10-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

Holy crow kid, you're growing like crazy! I had a pair of my regular pants that still fit last week. 5 days later...no go. That means growth in less than one week. That is FAST. Sometimes I catch my profile in the mirror and I'll call your dad to come look and we'll be all, "Ahhhhhhh, we're pregnant and there's really a baby in there!!" I think I'm feeling some of the early signs of movement, but I'm still waiting for an upper cut or good solid round house kick. Whatever you feel like. Oh, and your room is really starting to come together...well, just in my head at the moment. But it's going to look great and you will love it, I promise.

I already love you more than cereal and the color green.

Love,
Mama

In case you missed that bump...

Week 16

2010-10-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

Yesterday you turned 16 weeks old. So...Happy 16th Week Pre-Birthday!!! I can't believe in 5 months and roughly 17 days I will be holding you. I just wanted to tell you thank you for letting me feel better. Not that you were too hard on me during the earlier months. But I am enjoying having most of my energy and appetite back. And it couldn't have come at a better time, with the start of Fall and everything. The weather is incredible! I'm sure you'll love Fall as much as I do. I plan on spending a LOT of outside time with you. And if the weather starts making you feel a little frisky as well, feel free to give me a little nudge or flutter. I promise I won't mind. And by the way, you are really going to LOVE your Daddy! He's got so much to teach you it's crazy. Plus he's a lot of fun and he likes to laugh. It's really easy to make him laugh too. Although sometimes he laughs when you're not trying to be funny, which can make you mad. But then you realize, why fight it?!?! And you start laughing right along with him :)

We are so ready to teach you unconditional love.

Love,
Mama

A long and heartfelt post

2010-09-23T04:30:00.000-07:00

This is probably one of the longest posts I've written, but I had a lot to say. And really it could have been a lot longer :) After reading this, I hope you'll also read this from my cousin, Katie.

If you ask people who really know me, they would probably tell you I'm a laid back person but that I can also get pretty heated and intense when it comes to things I'm passionate about. I used to consider myself passionate about politics. It's hard not to be when you have a clear sense of how you want to live your life and what you want your future to look like. But during the past few years something changed.

I have never missed an election. When I'm asked as a citizen to vote, I do my research and I place my vote. That goes for local, state and national elections. But where I used to enjoy and seek out a good political debate, now I would rather just stay out of it. I believe this has happened for a few reasons. One, quite frankly its scary right now. It became hard not to get frustrated, upset and worried, and I didn’t want to become that angry person. I was forced to find a balance of being involved enough to do my part because our elected officials do have the ability to help shape our futures, but I also had to remind myself that my trust and future is in God and I will always have the ability to go after what I want even if the road to get there becomes more or less difficult. Nobody has the ability to take away my joy and my peace. Second, I've always felt it's much easier to attack someone for making what you think is the wrong decision to fix a problem but how often do you have the solution that will fix everything? Things are so complex right now and there are so many layers to every issues, I do not envy anyone in those positions called to solve the problem. When you're not looked to for the answer, you can choose to only vocalize the ones you're confident about and simply shy away and avoid the ugly and complex and confusing ones.

So that's where I am right now. I am not apathetic by any means, but I found my energy better spent by focusing on what I can control and how I will build my future, not wondering and crossing my fingers and hoping that the entire country will start making decisions as I see they should be made.

With that said, I wanted to bring up the Governor's race. The Republican candidate Nathan Deal happens to be my uncle. His wife, my Aunt Sandra, is my dad's older sister. I don't feel the need to re-write everything that's being said about Nathan. Hopefully you've seen his ads and mailers that simply tell you about his life of service and what he plans on doing for the State of Georgia. You know, the things that I would assume an educated voter would want to know about. But more then likely, if you spend any time on the Internet, you've seen the attacks on who he is as a person. I try to avoid most of them. I know how elections work, they can get ugly and I knew to prepare for this. But man, is there anything more frustrating then seeing something in print that is completely skewed and misleading about someone you love and respect? And what’s even more frustrating? It’s the number of people who are perfectly willing to take it as solid truth, period. I've been praying about my attitude towards all of this and how or even if I am supposed to respond. It seems that the media and Atlanta newspapers are not interested in Nathan's political views, the issues he supports, his past votes and accomplishments in Congress, and his thought-out plan and vision for Georgia. Apparently they only want the personal stuff. Well, I thought I could help them out on that.

Growing up I loved our visits to Uncle Nathan and Aunt Sandra’s. We’d wind up the long dirt and gravel road to the old A-frame house tucked in the bottom of Skitt’s Mountain. My memories of Uncle Nathan usually include him in a tucked in button down shirt with jeans and cowboy boots. The house was full of family, laughter, music and food. It was also common to find a place to nap after one of those full meals!

Something I’ve always been most proud of is the family I come from. I’ve written about them often and I talk about my family even more. I do realize that for the majority of voters, you don’t get to truly know the candidates and where they’re from and what they’re made of. But I can tell you, from how Sandra and Nathan were raised, to how they raised their children; you won’t find a better stock of loving, hard-working, honest, generous, respectable people. And though you might not have the chance to sit down and talk to my Uncle Nathan, find out for yourself what he stands for. Visit his website, Nathan Deal, and see if his vision for Georgia doesn’t sound like a place you’d like to live. And if you’re not sure about something, there’s a link where you can ask HIM about what he thinks and what he plans to do. And not just Nathan, but I wish you could get to know the whole family! I heard Aunt Sandra speak at a Ladies Republican lunch and she started off by saying she wasn’t good at the speeches, but she sure loved to talk! She loves people and she loves good old fashion hospitality and conversation. Sandra was the oldest of 4 kids and her and my Aunt Brenda helped raise my dad. They are such reminders of my grandmother, Ida Lou, and I cherish my time with them. Sandra makes cornbread just like Grandma did and can teach you how to make the best pot of greens! And I wish you could get to know their four children, my cousins Jason, Mary Emily, Carrie, and Katie. Being older then me, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t admire and look up to them. You probably won’t find a set of siblings more different! They’re a mix of dreamers and doers who have all gone after what’s important to them and what makes them feel alive, and that’s what we need more of. It's clear that the example set was to follow what you're heart called you to do despite the sacrifice and cost. But even with differences, this family, my family, will always come together. Unconditional love was not only taught but was and is lived out everyday.

And I’ll be honest, part of me wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t elected. Simply because I know the attacks won’t stop. And unfortunately I feel like most of our country simply wants to look at the elected officials as either a savior or a scapegoat. Nathan is simply an educated leader and a selfless servant, has been his entire life. But selfishly, I want nothing more than for Nathan Deal to be the next Governor. Not because he’s my uncle, although because he is I have the luxury of knowing down to my core that he is the best man for this position. I want him elected because my husband is a small business owner who has worked for everything we have and fights to maintain it. I want him elected because in March I will give birth to our first child. I believe with everything in me that Nathan wants to help lead Georgia to a better future, the kind that I hope and pray will be available to my child.

My family and I have done our parts in letting people know why Nathan should be elected, but it is in God’s hands. My prayer is that our state is ready to be led in the right direction, and if so the right decision will be made. If not, my hope and my future will still remain in the Lord. And thankfully I know that Uncle Nathan and Aunt Sandra feel the same way.

My final thought is that I will continue to pray for the campaign process to change. Wouldn’t it be nice for all the other candidates to spend their money, time, and energy simply letting people know who they are, what they stand for, what their vision is and how they plan on realistically achieving those? I would love to see we the people demand that we have had enough of trying to slander and skew any piece of information to convince the voters why they should not vote for the other guy. Wouldn’t their time and ours be better used if they simply told us why we should vote for them?

Rockport, Maine

2010-09-20T17:17:00.000-07:00

I'd say right in between those tree's is a perfect spot for a little New England cottage getaway...

Announcement

2010-08-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

I realized I haven't officially announced something to the blog world.

This March Steven and I will be bringing in to the world...baby McDowell!

We could not be happier and I still have to pinch myself to see if it's real.

I haven't bought anything baby, so I wanted to at least get something.

Having this baby is going to be such a celebration and according to my 3 year old niece, every party has to have balloons. So I thought it was perfect!

Though I am marveling at how quickly this baby is developing daily and I'm fascinated at how much is already complete even at almost 12 weeks along. But I have to say I am definitely looking forward to a belly more like...

Even with all the foretold discomfort and everything else that comes with it.

Because as of now, if I don't remind myself that I really am only months away from holding my first born, I'm left with this:

My baby "bump" looks more like when I would simply eat too much spaghetti for dinner. I'm discovering new hairstyles that work with grease because no matter how much sleep I get, I'm simply too exhausted to wash my hair in the mornings. Oh, and my jeans are now fastened with rubber bands.

So until I get to feel the kicks and wiggles going on inside of me, I will focus on our to do list.

1. FIND A NEW HOME FOR THE 4 1/2 FOOT BALL PYTHON CURRENTLY RESIDING IN THE FUTURE NURSERY.

2. Close in the screen porch, which hasn't had any screens for over a year, so that we can
turn that into the office, so that the current office (the one containing the snake)
can become the nursery.

3. Teach our 3 precious dogs how to actually be dogs, since that human/dog line has been
pretty blurred over the last 3 years.

That's about it for now. I'm trying to keep this list short and attainable and only focus on a few things at a time.

The Norwood 4

2010-07-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

Meet Charlie...

And his big brother Jack.

And the entire precious Norwood family.

Little Miss Rachel

2010-07-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

Is there anything cuter than cherub cheeks and a fascination with ducks? Had a blast with this sweet little girl Saturday morning. Here's some pictures from the shoot.

A Past Summer

2010-07-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

These pictures were taken last Summer. It was one of the first "shoots" I did with my new camera. I just thought I would share them because it's one of my favorite albums to revisit. But I can't wait to head back to the beach and add in my new nephew.

AMERICAN GIRL

2010-07-07T18:23:00.001-07:00

My Cup of Tea

2010-06-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

I was emailing one of my best friends back and forth at work today and we got to talking about how much our husbands take care of us. Well, she told me about a time when we were all hanging out together and she remembers Steven saying, "Lindsey is just my cup of tea."

I smiled for the remainder of my work day. :)

Here's my cup of tea...

Whistle Foot

2010-06-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce to you...Whistle Foot! My good friend Keith and I had our debut performance at good old Nite In the Park, sponsered by the West Armuchee Comunity Center in West Armuchee, GA. I'm sure you've heard of it...

(video thanks to my mananger, my lovey hubby)

Happy Papa's Day!

2010-06-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

I think that if someone asked my dad for advice on how to be a good father, he'd tell them... to enjoy it. It was clear to me even as a child, that my dad loved being a dad, or Papa as we call him. From playing with us outside, to coaching our basketball teams, to filming my brother and sister and me making up dances and writing and acting out plays and just being kids. And there was always laughter, and there still is. He always had time for us, and he still does. He is truly a man who has put his family first. Growing up it was easy for me to believe and understand that I have a Heavenly father whose love is unconditional, who is there for guidance, who is patient, kind, and full of forgiveness. Because my Papa demonstrates that every day.

Summer Lovin'

2010-06-14T16:59:00.000-07:00

Last week I was with my mom visiting family in California (which I will post on later!). We had an incredible time even though while we were there they were supposedly having a "heat wave." :) Temperatures in the 80's and I needed a sweater in the shade and in the evenings, LOL! Returning home and stepping off the plane, Georgia welcomed me with the same fervency I had received after returning from long extended stays in states like Montana, Minnesota, and Alaska. The air was sucked out of my lungs and my face instantly shined as if I had lathered myself in Vaseline. Yes, hot, humid, full blown Georgia summer said welcome home. High 90's with a heat index of over 100.

The day after we were home, we were getting ready for my Niece's 3rd birthday party, an outdoor Low Country Boil and water games for the kiddos. And even with the heavy, heavy heat and the summer flies the party was a blast. And it brought back a lot of memories. With my sister and I having August birthdays, our birthday celebrations almost always centered around water and humidity as well. But all I remember is the freedom and fun that comes along with summer days. It has to be a powerful season for us to suffer so much and LOVE every minute of it :)

This is what summer looks like.

Watching my garden grow...

2010-06-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

Steven built a fence, which I then painted. Then we filled that fence with 88 seeds and seedlings of all different kinds of vegetables. Jalapeno Peppers, Banana Peppers, Bell Peppers, Cucumbers, Squash, Tomatoes, Lettuce, Eggplant, Zucchini, Bush Beans, and Potatoes. That was over a month ago and it looked like this:

Now...

It looks like this!

Every year we have tried to plant wild flowers in the back yard but between the constant stampede of my furry children and the 24 hour open buffet for our bird sanctuary, the seeds some how disappear. Not this year kiddos. Into the pots they go. They're just starting to bloom and I'm excited to see what they'll look like.

The McDowell household is definitely looking forward to a summer of fresh cut flowers and homegrown vegetables(plenty to share of course).

There's also someone looking forward to another part of her summer...

Lauren and Wes

2010-05-25T18:01:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I got to do one of my favorite things, take pictures of beautiful people in a beautiful setting. We went down to Woodbury, GA where Lauren's family has a peach orchard, note the beautiful setting I mentioned.

Then if you take a look below, you'll note the beautiful people. I know, seriously beautiful. I had such a good time. Wes and Lauren are likable, easy people to be around and I am so excited about their wedding in September. It's going to be an incredible celebration and I am grateful to have the opportunity to capture it.

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." ~Henry David Thoreau