Love lessons with a bit of travel.

Steven had some work that took him to Nashville, TN for the weekend. He left on Thursday and I drove up after work on Friday to tag along. We had a blast. Although it was definitely the kind of heat where it forces you to ask yourself, "Why do I live in the South?" We spent the whole weekend, site-seeing, honky tonkin and eating incredible food. Below are some pictures from our walk around town (I tried to at least condense some into a collage :)

We also had our first big fight as a married couple...

But the good kind. The kind that afterwards makes you fall in love even more :) I honestly have so much to learn about truly becoming one with another person. My husband is my first serious relationship, so before him the only person that was witness to all of my frustrations or disappointments or moments of wanting isolation, or my roller coaster emotions...was me. And now, I have this man who simply wants to be with me and love me and make me happy and take care of me and wants to be a part of me. And some thing that I admire so much about him and hope it will rub off on me, is his ability to separate situations from emotions. I never feel like he is angry at me, no matter what kind of day he's had or what he's had to deal with, it's clear to me that I am not what he's angry about. He deals with the actual situation.

Yet, I constantly struggle with being able to pinpoint what I'm actually frustrated about. And unfortunately Steven sometimes becomes a target for that frustration. Because he's this constant strength to my frazzled restlessness. I forget that things that I dealt with in the privacy of my own world, now effect and are in view of someone else. And it's not fair to him. Because he is never the cause of my anger, he just often gets tangled up in how I deal with it. I'm not proud of this, but it is something that I'm trying to be conscious of and work at every day. It's a habit I think a lot of people have, but one that can be changed. A Buddhist monk and author, Thich Nhat Hanh, says:

"In taking good care of yourself, you take good care of your beloved one. Self-love is the foundation for your capacity to love the other person. If you don't take good care of yourself, if you are not happy, if you are not peaceful, you cannot make the other person happy. You cannot help the other person; you cannot love. Your capacity for loving another person depends entirely on your capacity for loving yourself, for taking care of yourself."

Those words absolutely hit me to the core. Steven can not make me happy. And he knows that and has expressed that too me. He wants to see me happy and be a part of that. And that's what I owe him. If I'm not happy in my job, I need to change that. If I'm not feeding myself spiritually, I need to seek that out. Because it's not just how I treat him that defines our marriage, it's also how I treat myself. I want to replace self-doubt and insecurity with peace and joy, but I have to make that choice and that effort. For my sake and because that is what I want to give my husband. I am blessed beyond belief, and yet it is so easy for me to fall prey to my own mind of imagined thoughts of despair. And I hate that. I enjoy the company of my husband too much, and I enjoy my own company too much to not live every moment of my life full of love and excitement and aware of how wonderful my life truly is.

But like I said, amongst the life lessons, we also had an incredible time together :) So here are some of the pictures from our trip:

The view from our room...


One of the BEAUTIFUL restaurants...


My favorite company to keep :)


The city.


Heading out of town, we stopped at the Nashville Farmer's Market and brought home some goodies!


And of course a quick swing through Chattanooga.


Love, Lindsey

A picture is worth a thousand words...

If you know me, you know how crazy I am about my niece Maeve. I believe she captures everything about the true essence of being a little girl. She's fearless and adventurous and full of wild spirit. She's already so nurturing and loving. She has fully mastered everything from the devious smirk, to the sweetest giggle, to the most contagious belly laugh you have ever heard! She is by far sugar and spice and everything nice.

She turned 2 yesterday on June 15th, and we celebrated all weekend! She picked out her first Cabbage Patch doll at Babyland General, Uncle Steven bought her a prime rib dinner at the Oar House, and then Sunday we had a cook out and birthday party with family and friends.

But, my favorite part of the weekend was my "Photo Shoot" with Maeve! Leah had asked me awhile ago if I would take her 2 year old pictures, I said of course! I instantly envisioned her standing in their field in Converse high tops and a pink tutu! And I think it ended up suiting her perfectly:) The rest was easy! Since her favorite thing to do is run around outside, I just followed her around and let her do her thing! And it definitely doesn't hurt that she happens to be the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen :) If you want to see all of the pictures, you can visit here.

But here's some of my favorites!

By the way...

I'm not just behind the camera! My friend Rachel has been designing and making jewelry and she asked me to model some of her fabulous creations! It was my pleasure. So check out the pieces I modeled, "Float with the Wind," "Icy Lime," and "Trois Saules," along with the rest of her site. It's definitely a perk having friends with so much talent!
The Little Jewelry Box: Designs by Rachel Elizabeth

A Pictorial Post

I have had so much fun this past week, outside of work that is. But that really goes without saying. So, since I usually end up writing so much, I thought I would post some pictures to let you in on our festivities! Here it goes...

It started last Friday when I got home from work and Steven and I decided to ride our bikes to go see a free outdoor concert downtown. A little exercise, fresh air, and live music, perfect.





Once we got home, by some handy maneuvering of our head lamps, my ever so kitchen friendly husband got the whim to bake a chocolate chip pound cake. You know, with all that exercise, it wouldn't make since to go to bed without eating cake first! So delicious...


The next morning Steven had to go replenish some cigars out at Barnsley Garden so we decided to make a little date of it. We had lunch at the Beer Garden, listened to a little live music, then walked down to the ruins and around the grounds for a little while...







Then we were off to our dear friend's Jon and Jennie Pruitt's house for Jon's 30th birthday party celebration and cook-out.


Swimming pool, yard games, a charcoal grill, good friends, and even a cute little 8 week old baby...now that is a good time :)


Saturday was definitely a late night, so Sunday morning we really slept in! After recooperating we decided to head up to John's Mountain (note, not named after the previously mentioned Jon) to do a little fishing and relaxing.



Little trout :)


Moving into the week, Tuesday June 9th, we had a little something to celebrate. That's right, it was June 9th. Our ONE MONTH anniversary! I couldn't believe it had already been one month! So we went out to a Mediterranean restaurant to celebrate.


And my sweet husband even had a gift for me...


No, those are not flowers I'm holding. It's my brand new fishing pole :) Can't wait til the one YEAR anniversary! I also have to share this very sweet card he gave me. First I have to say that out of all his tremendous wonderful qualities, special occasions aren't exactly Steven's thing. If you've heard my past stories of birthday's anniversary's and Valentine's Day, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. So this card meant so much too me! Let me start by sharing with you the card from two Valentine's ago:

It's a paper tear-out card from a magazine with two squirrels holding a nut shaped like a heart. And it read...

"I got this card out of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. Which is perfect--cause you're hot in a bikini and you're a little bit nutty! Anyhoo, I love you so much and look forward to spending many more Valentine's with you!"

Can't wait to share that one with the kids :) And yes, I still have it and will keep it for always.

And here's what my uncharacteristically sentimental anniversary card said...

I love how you look, I like how you speak,
I live for the touch of your hand on my cheek.

I love that you trust me, I love that you're kind
And honest enough to say what's on your mind.

I love that you're silly, I love that you're wise,
I love how the world looks when seen through your eyes.

I love all the wonder and mystery of you,
I love that you're someone who loves me back, too.

(And Steven added...)
I love you in the morning, I love you in the night.
I'll love you forever, if that's alright!

I know, so sweet:) And Steven was so surprised by my tearful reaction, I think he finally realized how much just a sweet card can mean! But I'm definitely liking this whole marriage thing!


Enough with the mushy stuff! Now I'd like to pay tribute to my favorite thing about longer days. Dinner outside, grilled to perfection!



Well, I know this is long. But I hope you enjoyed catching up with us! I'm so excited about this weekend as well. I'm heading home for Maeve's 2 year old birthday party! I'll give you a sneak peek at what I got her because I can't stand how cute they are!!

It's time...

So I came across this poem, that quite frankly blew me away. It's by no means the greatest poem ever written. But it was a moment where the timing was so right and the words were so appropriate, I have no way around believing, and full heartily accepting, that this was a message straight from the Creator himself! Although it doesn't take much to convince me when it comes to signs of the universe all around us :)

For now, I'll get straight to the poem, and then explain why it meant so much…

The Journey
by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life that you could save.

I am a middle child as well as an introvert, not to mention a dreamer. This combination already sets me up to be a big ball of complexity! I long to travel and live in so many beautiful places, yet I love being home and surrounded by my family. I live for adventure and trying new things, yet I settle in my comfort zone in the safe security of my scheduled everyday life. The dueling desires can be quite exhausting! My head and heart are in a constant swirl of finding a balance between wanting to change the world and live huge but still reveling in the peace of sitting with my husband and talking over a cup of coffee.

So where does this poem enter in?

All through college, I was able to accomplish so many dreams. It seemed like there was nothing holding me back. Sure some people can say I wasn't living in the 'real world,' but nonetheless, there were no limits. Well, afterwards I'm not quite sure what happen, except for the reality of, you need a job that pays the bills. Then that comfort zone sneaks in and then starts the evil waves of self doubt, insecurity, and the many many excuses of why this is as good as it gets and you have no choice but to stay where you are. But here I am 25 years old and I still dream about what I want to do when I grow up!

I still have many dreams and goals and skills I want to pursue. Ideas of how I could make a living and have the life I want. The world needs people that have come alive and love what they do. I owe that to myself and I owe that to Steven, who is so loving and supportive and willing to help me find that. I feel like I've been on the verge of taking the leap and finding out what I'm meant to do for quite some time and reading that poem was just that last little nudge I needed. I'm so ready to be living at my max potential! So I've reached my "One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began,..."

But it's just the beginning. Part of being an introvert is that I'm always in my head thinking and analyzing and I will have to fight off the self doubt and insecurity, "though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice..." And they will try to convince me that there are other things I need to take care of and this is probably never going to happen. And watching the news only sends the message that you'd be crazy to venture out on anything in this economy, who would leave a stable job just to be happy?? But I know it's worth whatever ripples it creates , "though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. 'Mend my life!' each voice cried. But you didn't stop..."

So I will keep walking in that direction, and I will start now. "It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones." So yes, it is scary and wild to walk into the unknown. But it IS already late enough, how much longer can I just sleep???

And then to the part that makes it all worth it. Saying no to the message from Satan that you can't do it and it's not worth it. "But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own,..." My own voice, I will truly become authentic. My own true taste, free from the flavor of anyone else! I will follow my heart and settle for nothing less. And that is how I feel I can give my best to Steven. It's like my dad always says, "the Lord wants only good and perfect things for us." HE wants us to have joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, kindness, compassion and faith. Well, I found that in waiting for Steven and I trust that the Lord will provide the same in pursuing everything else! I greatly look forward to the journey.

So here's to pursuing what makes us happy! Life is too short to not do what you love.

Real Life Begins, Yesterday...

So yes, I am Mrs. McDowell. But I'm going to save the wedding post for later. One, I'd like to have my pictures back and Two, I'm still waiting for the words to describe the whole day. All I can come up with now is perfect. And I don't take that word lightly! But Saturday May 9th is the only day that has truly lived up to that word. And I'm not just talking about the seen from a far, view from above, big picture, overall day was perfect. I mean every detail, every second, every emotion, every loved one, every heart felt tear, every moment was perfect!!!! And I was blessed by the presence of every person there who shared that day with me.

Onto the the honeymoon…



Originally, I assumed the honeymoon was designed to help unwind and rest after a year of planning, planning and more planning. Well, we did rest and relax and were extremely lazy, but yet I'm back at work still completely exhausted and worn out! So after going through the experience, I've decided that the real purpose of the honeymoon is to gradually ease you back into reality. Not that being served all week while on the most beautiful beach is reality, but hear me out.

My wedding, as stated above, was perfect. It was the most magical experience of my life and I was floating on air the entire time. If I had gone to bed as a new wife only to wake up to my alarm at 6:00am to quietly get ready in the dark and then drive to work where I would remain for the next 9 hours, only to do the same thing for the next 4 consecutive days, I would have been brought down to earth with a loud thud! It would have been worse then the day after Christmas as a kid! But NO, I was whisked away by my husband to a beautiful tropical resort. But yet, here's where the test of real life kicks in.

Amidst the continuation of my fairytale…

We couldn't get Steven checked in at the airport because his passport said McDowell Jr. and his ticket just said McDowell.
We land in Punta Cana and realize we hadn't confirmed transportation from the airport to the resort.
We make it to the resort but were given the wrong room.
None of the special touches Steven had ordered were there.
We weren't given any info of where to go, how things worked, where to eat, etc. We were greeted with a smile and an "hola!!" And that was it.

Okay, so the rest of the week was absolute heaven! We got in the groove of this new place and had no problem adapting to the slower pace! Having 24/7 to spend with each other is something I'll never forget and reality or not, I plan to make time like that as often as I can!

And the real life lessons continue...

Trying to leave, we waited in the airport line for 3 hours while they hand wrote the boarding passes and crossed off seats on the plane.
We sat on the plane for two hours waiting for confirmation from the tower before we could take off.
Once in the air, the captain informs us that we can no longer make the direct flight to Atlanta and will be stopping in Miami to exchange a crew member.
Once in Miami, we are not allowed to leave the plane due to customs and must continue to wait in our seats before we can take off again.
What should have been a direct flight of 3 1/2 hours turned into 3 hours in standing in a line and 8 hours sitting on a plane.
Also, just a note, when we landed in Atlanta after midnight, the only meal we had been able to eat all day was breakfast that morning, peanuts for 12 hours...

So disregarding the beautiful surroundings, spending every second with each other, having someone to cook and clean, as well as serve you, the honeymoon is definitely an intro to real life. How do we make decisions together? How to we respond to stressful situations? How do we react when things don’t go as planned? In the first week as husband and wife, I already learned new things about my husband that made me fall in love all over again!

We ran into other honeymooners who had the same problem of not being informed very well and didn't receive all of the special extra things for the honeymoon package, but they did nothing about it and so they just never got them. I couldn't believe it! On the first day, Steven told me to lay down and rest while he went and took care of everything. (Definitely married a problem solver!) So I did. About an hour later he came back and had gotten us our correct room and had everything else arranged for us and the romance began! What's even more amazing is that not only did he take care of everything, he did it all while being friendly and gracious. And that is what makes me so proud. And even with all the travel strains, we kept each other calm but let each other vent and we made the best of it.

Now don't get me wrong, (I know you're probably gagging!) in the course of a week there were definitely times when Steven had to be reminded that yes, sometimes I am right and I do have a much better memory then he does. And I shamefully admit and realize that unfortunately I am past the point of reason and level headed thinking when I am deprived of sleep or food. :) But really, when you are with some one you love and who loves to laugh, how can you go wrong?!?!

So overall I think the first lesson I've decided to take note of and apply to my marriage is this: If you plan for the unexpected, for things to not always go the way you want, if you know that sometimes there will be chaos, then well, there's really no such thing as unexpected chaos. Right??

So bring it. ;)

My Last Name

In five days I will change my last name. With all the wedding details and planning and honeymoon excitement, it's something I really haven't given much thought too. I know that I'm not really a hyphenated kind of girl, so I will definitely go the route of officially being Lindsey McDowell. And just typing my new name gives me excited, girly butterflies in my stomach :) I think it's beautiful. I think there's nothing more symbolic then taking his last name. Becoming one family, a new family, our own family. I will be his, he will be my leader and protector and provider. I cherish that.

With all that, it's not to say there aren't mixed emotions involved… I am, and find a great since of pride and strength in being, a Dunagan woman. It was instilled early on to know my roots. My father and grandfathers were always telling me stories from the past of my ancestors and the things they stood for and the places they came from. And they are stories of strong, passionate and loving men and women. I've never accomplished anything in my life without feeling an overwhelming sense of connection to my family past and present. Knowing that I'm a part of something bigger because I'm really just a continuation of things begun generations and generations ago.

And yes there are different last names all throughout my family, and it's family that is just as true and strong. But there is something I love about the Dunagan name. I love being identified as the daughter of Brad and Mary Dunagan. And it's such a sense of belonging and pride when people hear my last name and say, "Are you George and Ida Lou's granddaughter?" And knowing that my mother and grandmother took the same journey I am about to, they joined a legacy and took a new last name. But what a name to take! My father and grandfather are men above men. And I am who I am because of them.

But I also know that my parents have been praying for Steven since the day I was born. Praying for this time when I will take a new name and leave my father's. Praying for the man that will love and cherish me for the rest of my life. Which is a remarkable task since my own father loves me more than is humanly possible and dedicated his life to providing for and loving his family.


This all reminds me though of my sister's wedding 5 years ago. I remember feeling a bit of loss knowing that I would no longer have the same last name as my sister. It just didn't really feel right. But I didn't get it at the time! The things we as a family gained were incredible! Her husband is another rock in my life and their child is a joy and blessing that I could have never imagined! So there is definitely too much to be gained to feel any kind of loss. It's like my father had said this past weekend. He said he wouldn't be able to be so excited and joyful about my wedding day if he didn't know this was right. The Lord led me to a man that my father feels peace about giving me away too. And that means all the world to me.

So for this week, even among all the little details left to take care of, I will take time to reflect nostalgically on my life up till now. I will look at old pictures of a perfect childhood, laugh at old memories, and probably cry remembering countless moments spent with my grandfathers and my grandmother who aren't here to see me walk down the aisle and who Steven never got the honor of meeting.

I will also take the time to praise and thank God for,
Bob and Donna Grant, my maternal grandparents who were married for over 50 years,


George and Ida Lou Dunagan, my paternal grandparents who were married for over 60 years,


and Brad and Mary Dunagan, my parents, who will celebrate 31 years of marriage this year.

It is their commitment to each other that has given me the foundation to enter a marriage meant for life. It is their example of unconditional love, hard work, and faithful and prayerful commitments that will be a blessing and guidance for Steven and I.

So I sign off as Lindsey Dunagan and next time I post I will be Mrs. Lindsey McDowell and will begin my journey figuring out what exactly will be The McDowell Way :)