Monday, August 24, 2009

A hint of August?

Would we soak up and enjoy every second of our weekends if they were more than just the precious two days? For me that answer is most definitely yes! But two days is all I get.

This past weekend was another fabulous break. This time it got a surprising start with a doozie of a storm Friday night (which I love!) Meaning no power for several hours, a house full of candles, and a midnight walk with our headlamps to check out the damage and breathe in the cool wet air brought in with the storm.

Saturday morning Steven and I both slept in. For me that means 8:30am, for Steven that means noon... I love my mornings though. The quiet, the morning light, the calm. Especially this morning, I was very pleasantly surprised to walk out to cool crisp fall-ish morning air. Well, I've mentioned in a previous post how Shelby is eerily like her father, so she's not much of a morning gal herself! But Toccoa comes and snuggles on my pillow with me the second she sees movement, and Callie sits out on the deck with me while I drink my coffee. Here's how i got to start my Saturday!

Then around 2, my parents came up for a visit and to attend the CRBI River Revelry, an annual fundraiser to celebrate and protect our rivers. I was so excited to spend time with them and to show off our constantly redecorated house. That's probably one of the things I hate most about not living near my family, they don't get to see my newly acquired wifey nesting skills. Anyways, the event was incredible. An outdoor concert right on the river with plenty of BBQ, and made even more magical by the cool, breezy weather. Mama won me an 8 week Natural Birthing Class in the silent auction. I would have loved to see her claim the prize! Apparently they found it quite funny that she was the mother-in-law who bid on it for her daughter who is NOT pregnant! No worries though, there's no expiration date ;) Mama also accidentally bid $800 on a kayak during the live auction when she waved across the crowd when she saw where we were sitting! Luckily, it sold for $900. I think she was then told to be still and sit on her hands. Then again, it's all for the rivers right?! How great is it to have parents you can drink, dance, and have a good time with? :)

And it went on into the night...

I spent my Sunday morning being lazy and just enjoying the time I had to sit and visit with my parents, once again outside on a rare August morning humidity free! Then Steven decided to join us, that's noon :) That afternoon, after my parent's send off, Steven and I took the girls out to our favorite field to let them run off some energy.

And then they got thirsty...

And I've never seen a dragonfly like this...

We actually thought we lost Toccoa for awhile! Sometimes she chases after Callie, who has the endurance of an African Gazelle, and we were afraid Toccoa hadn't been able to keep up and was lost somewhere in the woods. After 40 minutes of scouring the land, Steven noticed Shelby and Callie kept looking towards the car. Yep, Toccoa was past out under the car, tongue rolled out, apparently oblivious to the 14,733 times we had called her name.

She's easy to forgive though :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My new dragonfly...

Dragonfly, a type of insect belonging to the order Odonata, the suborder Epiprocta or, in the strict sense, the infraorder Anisoptera. But I don’t really care about that!

Have you ever just watched a dragonfly? Lying on the front of our boat, literally inches above the water, I can watch them at eye level. I never see them flap their wings; they just skim and glide on top of the water. Their ability to hover perfectly still and then dart off in every which direction before you’ve even blinked is fascinating. They come just close enough to catch my attention and then they’re off doing their dance for me. It’s pretty clear to me as to why they represent a wild and free spirit.

Here's one of my favorite pieces hanging up in our sun room...

Dragonflies are born under water and gradually surface as they mature until they are above the water, wings outstretched where they are now free to swirl, hover, dart and glide, yet always staying close to the deep waters it came from. For this reason, in some cultures the dragonfly spirit encourages you to make a conscious effort to express your hopes, dreams, needs and wishes. The dragonfly is part of the water world, which represents the subconscious thoughts. It's also part of the air and wind world, which represents change.

Essentially, the dragonfly represents that life is too short to not take notice when our deeper thoughts rise to the surface. It is our responsibility to pay attention to this subconscious because what we think is directly related to what we see “on the surface” of our lives. They symbolize pushing past self-created illusions that limit personal growth, so you can discover who you actually are and let that light shine; a symbol of the sense of self that comes with maturity. Which is what I am constantly striving to achieve, to take my passionate and emotional youth and find mental clarity and control. It’s not about losing that spirit, but it’s finding that balance.

The more I read about what the dragonfly represents in so many different cultures, I kept coming upon a common thread that seemed to be mentioned every time, that the dragonfly means hope, change and love. Who doesn't want to cling to that?

And to think, at first I was drawn to them simply because they are beautiful.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Come Thou Fount...

Steven is out of town until Tuesday.

For some reason last night, I missed him more then I think I ever have during any span of separation since our relationship together. Of course I always miss him when we are not together. But being an introvert, I require time alone and usually enjoy it. I’m left to my own accord to daydream, read, watch my favorite movies and be absorbed in the company of the characters and stories that constantly play through my head. However last night, I could not shake such an intense feeling of loneliness. I hate those moments, when you can’t even distract yourself with works of fiction because of your own self-analyzing, soul searching nag. Of course, I do believe those moments are quite necessary for personal growth. But as mentioned above, it can feel quite lonely.

I woke up this morning not feeling any better and not able to place exactly why I was feeling this way. But I made a pot of coffee and sat in a quite house not being able to clear my head to read or even watch a movie. So I did what I’ve always done to quiet my thoughts and calm me done. I went to the piano. Or actually a key board, that Steven gave me during our first Christmas together because of how much I talked about missing my piano. I can not quite play as well as I once did, but I pull out my favorite music book and just thumb through playing one song after another, the Hymnal.

I’ve always loved hymns. I love the simplicity of the lyrics and the tunes and I love the history behind them, the story they tell. I will also hold them dear for always, because I cannot sing or play a hymn without thinking of my grandmother, Ida Lou Dunagan. There was not one hymn she could not sing from memory and she would take a simple line of music notes and sit down at the piano and use all 88 keys to turn it into a master piece. And due in part to her, during different struggles and challenges and even the joyous moments in my life, it was always a verse to a hymn that would pop in my head. And I hope to continue to play and sing these hymns as to one day teach them to my children.

My grandmother, Ida Lou

But it was this morning, while singing one of my favorite hymns that as the words came out of my mouth I began to weep, the quiet peaceful kind of weeping. I stopped and just sat there with the words that obviously had struck a chord. It was “Come Thy Fount of Every Blessing,” the third verse.

“Oh, to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be! Let they goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.”

In the midst of such a happy time in my life; a union with a loving, good-hearted man, my sister’s growing family, my brother becoming a husband, my parent’s enjoyment of reaping the awards of a faithful, loving marriage. Even with all the blessings around me, how is it that my heart can still wander from the One who has given me everything? But it does, and it has. When I’m not with my family, when Steven is not holding me, my foundation has to be my faith in the unseen. But I continue to be thankful that the Lord has and always will forgive me for my wandering heart and always lets me run back to Him.

So here’s to waiting for the man I love to return, and to the hope and prayer that I will love him even more by keeping my heart bonded to the One who loves me and created me.