18 Weeks

Little One,

You're 18 weeks today.

I wish I had something exciting to tell you about today.  But I'm afraid the only big event was that I washed and dried a load of Lucy's clothes with what I think was a crayon,  everything was covered with bright waxy residue.  Your dad did a little research and was able to rescue the situation.  All clothes were returned to their original state.

We did have a midwife appointment on Wednesday.  It went well.  It's still pretty early, so most of the appointment is just talking about how I'm feeling and continuing to make sure I'm taking care of myself, which is then taking care of you.

I shared something that I hope you don't take the wrong way.  I'm still having a hard time connecting.  I keep forgetting you are in there!  And it's starting to weigh heavy on me.

Here's what she told me...

I'm a different woman this time.  When I was pregnant with Lucy, I wasn't a mother yet.  Being a mother who is pregnant, is different.  I have a child walking around outside of me now, and it's true that it feels like my heart now lives outside of me as well.  Your sister consumes me in the most wonderful way.  So while you are nestled inside, still too small for me to feel or hear your heartbeat with the fetal stethoscope, you're still a part of me.

But here's what makes this a wonderful thing.  I'm not just fantasizing about being a mother this time, I am a mother.  So I know what it feels like to almost explode from love when you look at this baby in your arms that was just inside of you.  And to be amazed at how that love somehow grows even stronger as you watch them grow and get to know who they are.

So my precious 2nd baby, what a day your birthday will be!  I promise to keep taking care of myself, loving on our little family, and looking forward to the day you will change my life forever.

Keep growing!

Love,
Mama

THE weekend

This past weekend was the weekend.

The one that I look forward to every year.

The one where my family gathers together for a weekend in a cabin nestled in the woods on the bend of a river.

We gather together, as my sister said, for no other reason except to just be together.

It's our Thanksgiving, our Christmas, and a million other celebrations from the previous year.

Each year brings new life growing in bellies, new babies crawling around underfoot, new jobs, new houses, new health...always plenty to celebrate.

We mark each year with updated family pictures and my mom prepares a spaghetti dinner of thanks. 

The rest of our time is unplanned, but is sure to be filled with food, music, exploration, and plenty of sweet conversation.

I love my family so much and I consider it one of my most favorite blessings that I also consider these people my closest and most cherished friends.  I love their company, their wisdom, their humor, their unconditional love.  I love the influence they have on my life and the influence they will have on my children.

I also love the effortless way we allow each other to focus and pour ourselves into our individual growing families, knowing that is what God has called us to do and is how He designed the family.

But you better believe that in an instant, when support and encouragement or just a good time is needed, we'll be there.  Circling the wagons, supporting each other, loving each other, just being there.

Here's to family and friends...

16 Weeks

Dear 2nd baby,

We had a really nice 16-week day for you.

We slept with the windows open last night, so we woke up to a cool crisp morning.

I'm so glad Fall is finally creeping back in.  It is most certainly a favorite season in this family.  While your dad made breakfast for everyone, Lucy wanted to do a quick morning walk.  The cool Fall air makes her frisky too.

Here's a picture of your silly sister :)

After breakfast we cleaned up and went to a pond where we fed some ducks and walked around collecting things that we brought home to make a fall arrangement.

We're actually back outside this evening, where I'm writing you this letter.  It's so hard to stay indoors during this season.  The air is lighter and crisper, the tea olive seems to smell sweeter and stronger, and the earth produces a whole new bounty of things to find on our walks; pinecones, acorns, and fallen leaves that are just starting to take on the reds, yellows, and oranges that will soon saturate the skyline.  It's such a world that you will be a part of.  The next time these leaves change color, you will be in my arms.

It's different this time, you know?  The waiting.  When Lucy was in my belly I wanted to know everything.  I had the daily journal that told me each day what was happening inside me and I received the weekly updates of what growth happened in the previous week.  And yes it was fun and thrilling and fascinating!  But just so much tracking.  We won't be having any ultrasounds this time, our midwife isn't even concerned with tracking my weight.  The only concern is to keep my body moving, stretching, and strengthening and to fill it up with good nutrition and hydration.  So I feel like this go around, with you, instead of a daily, weekly, and monthly count down, we're simply in a season together.  A season where we are both growing and changing and waiting.  Letting God do His thing, creating a new masterpiece.  And strangely enough, I enjoy the slow and the waiting.  I love this season.

So we will continue to enjoy Autumn and it's bounty.  We will ease into winter and rest and nest and prepare.  And in it's perfect timing, we will usher in Spring with the greatest of new life, you, little one.

Love,
Mama