I get to meet you next month. And this month happens to also be the shortest.
That means soon.
I was thinking about the differences this time around. I feel like I get worn out easier. A shortness of breath and difficulty getting up and down that I don't quite remember with your sister. Even though with her I had already gained close to 40 lbs by this stage and with you I've barely gained 20.
Speaking of your sister, I have a feeling she is part of the puzzle. You know, that voice that you hear all day long. Shrieks of laughter, sneaky giggles, intense conversations, plus a good dose of whining these days. Or the sudden thud as she lands on top of us, the countless elbows, knees and feet jabbing into your wall of protection because she can't seem to ever get close enough.
But baby, do you also feel her hugs? Her kisses? Do you hear her tell you good morning and night-night, and the sporadic 'hey baby, luv you'? Of course you do. I know she will be as familiar to you as the beat of my heart. Her awareness and love for you has been growing along with my belly. But oh my, is she still in for the surprise of her life :)
But even with the differences of how I feel and with the added company of a toddler, there are things that have not changed this go around...
I still relish the thought of being a vessel for new life. It will always blow my mind.
There's never another time when that voice deep inside of me is as quiet and content. Completely accepting my heart's longing and body's ability to grow, carry, and give birth.
I never feel more beautiful. Not in a worldly sense, but it's a chance to shut off any notions and ideas of how I'm supposed to look and to just let my body grow and change and be.
And your father feels the same way too :) I never have to question it. I see it in his eyes, his smile, his touch. He delights in this time too.
We continue to gather things for your birth, things for your arrival. You just make sure to keep on growing.
Love,
Mama
What a peace!
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