1 Year

March 11, 2012

Lucy,

I wish there were new words for me to use. New words to describe a feeling older than time.

Love.

 I’ve been swimming in a sea of love my entire life. My family raised me with love. I met your father and we chose love. Then there was you, we created love. A tangible, magical, extension of our love. When I think about you, when I look at you, there’s another love that always seems to wash over me.

God’s love.

I look at you and I’m reminded of the unconditional, never-failing, all-consuming love of our Father. I see His grace and mercy. I see His faithfulness. I see His greatness.

It’s a beautiful thing to wake up every morning to an answered prayer.

Lucy you have also challenged me. You have pushed me to grow. You have looked me straight in the heart and asked,

“Mama, what kind of woman are you going to be for me?” 

You have asked me to be patient, selfless, and loving in all that I do.

My answer? I’m trying. I’m learning. Yes, I’m growing.

Thank you for helping me become a better woman, a better wife…a mother.

There are things that float through my head constantly. Things I want to teach you. Sometimes I write them down, but mostly I bury them in my heart only to lay them at God’s feet.  My prayer is that God, with His infinite wisdom, will simply use me to guide and teach you His ways. 

I want you to know your worth. 

 You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are chosen, desired, and delighted in. You are the daughter of a King. You will never have to worry about being beautiful enough, smart enough, talented enough. You are and will always be enough. MORE than enough. If you go through times where this is hard for you to believe, go to God. Sit in His arms for awhile. Let Him tell you about how much He loves you. Because as much as your dad and I love you, God loves you even more. I want you to know that in every fiber of your being.

I want you to know that the above applies to all others as well. 

Love others Lucy. Be kind and sincere. Don’t let comparison and jealousy steal your joy. Because where those things exist, love does not. And where love does not exist, there is no joy. Watch out for people who use guilt and manipulation. But even when they do, love them. Do not be a gossip. This can be harder then you think. Gossip doesn’t always appear negative. It can be dressed up as concern, worry, or curiosity.  But it's still dangerous and destructive. If you’re not sure, ask God. And forgive, Lucy.  Forgive others, forgive yourself. Always forgive.

Oh, Lucy. I just pray that you live life in a way that’s only possible when your strength comes from God. I pray that you wake up each morning with joy in your heart. That you go to bed each night wrapped in peace.

You are my most favorite adventure.  You are full of light and laughter and wonder.

You surpass everything I ever dreamed you'd be.

Always sing your song and open up your wings.

Lucy, today I will wrap myself in the memories and thoughts of this time last year.  Fifty hours of swirling emotion, exhaustion, and pain, that all fell away with the first glimpse of your face.  My heart's rhythm changed in that moment, making room for you, nestled deep inside next to your daddy.  Never forget that you changed my life for the better.

Happy 1st Birthday my darling!

I will love you for eternity,

Mama