Introducing Lulah Grey

Lulah Grey,

People have asked about your name.

It first came up a few years ago in a casual conversation with my mom about baby names.  I said I liked the name Tallulah, and would want to call her Lulah.  So my mom, being a teacher, said why don’t you name the child what you want to call her.  And I thought, yes, Lulah is pretty awesome.

It sounds so melodic to me.  Like a song rolling off your tongue.

I was a teenager when I first heard Grey used as a name.  I liked it a lot, but really just filed it away somewhere in my mind.  

When I started trying out names with Lulah, it jumped out as a front runner.  For me, Grey brings with it a sense of quiet peace and warmth.  Like a knit blanket, hot cup of coffee, and a good book.    

Lulah Grey, a beautiful song grounded by peaceful warmth.

I will write about your amazing entrance soon.  But today, I just wanted to celebrate your first week.

• You officially have your own perfect little belly button.  The cord fell off last night.
• Nursing is going beautifully {Praise! Praise! Praise!}. And I’m excited to get to treasure those quiet moments instead of the uphill battle I had to conquer with your sister.
• I baked some banana bread today.  In case you’re wondering, that’s pretty awesome for week one.
•  Lucy is adjusting wonderfully.  She starts her mornings running to the couch, climbing up in the corner and stretching her arms out saying, ‘I hold you, I hold you.’ 

She’s smitten alright!

We all are.

Lulah, while you were growing in my belly I loved you.  But it was more this fascination and curious kind of love at the idea of a new little person I would meet soon.  Someone already picked out perfectly for our family.

Then you arrived in my arms.  And I spent the next couple of days in complete and utter awe and amazement.  I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the perfection in my arms.

Just one week of getting to know you my dear and I have fallen deeply, madly, and completely IN love with you.  

And I want to tell you a secret…

You pretty much had everyone thinking you were going to be a boy.

And yes, this pregnancy, the way I carried, the way I felt, was different then your sister.  I was almost convinced myself.  But there was this one thing that I couldn’t shake.  Something that wouldn’t let me narrow in on having a boy just yet.  It’s something that I never told anyone, not even your father.  I don’t think I trusted what happened.

Last February, your sister was about to turn one, and I thought I might have been pregnant.  It would have been way sooner than we had initially planned on, but how could I not get excited!  When it was finally time to take a test, it was negative.  I wasn’t pregnant.  Relief mixed with remorse.  I decided to strap Lucy in her wrap and take a walk, while I worked through my thoughts.  She fell asleep almost instantly and I just kept looking at her, knowing I needed more time with just her, but trying to figure out why I felt a sense of loss with just the thought that I might have been already growing a new baby and wasn’t.

Then I heard it.  Or felt it really, a whisper in my heart.

THIS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LULAH.

I was instantly washed in peace and smiled through a few tears running down my face.

I would wait, resting in God's timing, for my Lulah.

Lulah had been a name option for when Lucy was born, but when we met her we knew she was Lucy.

And then I knew Lucy would have a sister named Lulah.

Typically I would have loved to rush home and share a story like that, but something made me want to tuck it inside.  My own magical secret.  Or maybe I didn’t quite trust what I had just experienced, being comforted by my Lord.

But I never stopped dreaming about the day when I would share that experience with you.  

My sweet Lulah, promised to me on a wintery walk.

I will write more soon, there’s too much love I want to get down in print.

Love,

Mama